Who makes the first move is a pretty controversial subject. It shouldn’t be, because if you’re in a happy relationship, who cares who asked who out? I have no problem asking guys out, and I’ve learned so much from doing just that.
- It’s good to do something scary. Of course it’s terrifying to ask someone out, but that doesn’t stop me. When I take a risk and get something in return, my life feels so much more full. Sure, sometimes all I get is yet another crappy date, but that’s okay. At least I put myself out there and took a chance.
- Guys appreciate it. When I’m chatting with a guy and it’s super clear that the next step is to actually go out, I usually go for it and ask them for a drink. When they say yes, they usually say they were just about to ask, and they’re always pretty positive about the whole deal. I can tell that guys really appreciate girls who take the reigns sometimes and don’t conform to super lame gender stereotypes.
- Nothing bad happens. Sure, not every guy agrees and sometimes I get rejected, but it’s a nicer sort of rejection (yes, it’s possible). Guys have tons of excuses up their sleeves, from being busy with work to going on vacation for two weeks. I don’t let rejection get to me and just shrug and move on. If the worst that can happen is that some guys say no, that’s really not a big deal at all.
- It becomes second nature. It’s interesting how something that feels super scary can become no big deal. The first time I asked a guy out, it was like waiting for his response was the most important and most horrible thing the world. These days, it’s literally just another part of my dating routine. I ask guys out, some say yes, some claim they’re too busy, and that’s it.
- Some guys aren’t worth it. Of course not every date is a good one — if only. Some guys really aren’t worth the ask because they think that my asking them out means they don’t have to do any work beyond that. They show up to the first date without much to offer. They don’t ask questions. When they follow up, they want to chat and don’t actually ask me on a second date. Yawn.
- More girls should do this. My proudest moment was when one of my BFFs was inspired to ask someone out. If more girls asked guys out, dating would be a million times more interesting and equal. Plus, it would mean we’d all feel a lot less helpless in our search to find love.
- I don’t have to make all the decisions. Sure, I’ll make the first move, but it’s always nice when a guy chooses the night or the bar. Just because I make the first choice doesn’t mean I have to make all of them.
- I’m braver than I think. I’m not an adventurous person at all and am definitely an introverted homebody, but when I ask guys out, it makes me realize that I’m so much braver than I originally thought. And that’s worth a lot, no matter what happens on the actual date.
