At the beginning of the relationship, you and your boyfriend were on fire for each other. He couldn’t keep his hands off you or stand to be away from you for too long and you felt the same. But now you feel like his attraction for you is fading and you just want to go back to the way things were. It’s a tough position to be in. The good news is you can still bring the spark back into the relationship if you act fast.
- Talk about it with him. Open and honest communication is the first step to fixing any issue in a relationship. Tell him what’s bothering you and listen to his thoughts about the situation. It might be that he’s also feeling that you’re not as invested in the relationship as you used to be. Maybe he’s going through some major life changes that are distracting from his feelings for you. Ask him how you can be a better partner, then try to meet that desire as best as you can.
- Return to the past. Remember the things you did when you first started going out, those moments that you shared that he absolutely loves? It’s time to relive them. Look at old photos together, return to the place where you had your first date or where you first met. Listen to the music you both couldn’t get enough of back them. Let the memories wash over you both. Take up old rituals again. Retrace your steps and recreate the magic. Remembering the past can remind him how he once felt about you and make him want to return to that.
- Get him to try new things with you. If sitting on the couch and watching what’s new on Netflix is the most exciting thing you’ve been doing lately, you need to shake things up. Find fun things to do together, preferably something you haven’t tried before. Whisk him away for a little vacation, take up a hobby or two. The introduction of new, enjoyable activities will renew his attachment to you and help your bond grow even stronger.
- Make couple time a priority. You can spend hours in each other’s presence and still not connect unless you make a conscious effort to do so. Carve out time for your guy and keep the outside world at bay during that time. You could go on a date or just spend a few hours getting to know each other better. Put on a playlist and dance with him, hold his hands, cuddle him, tell him how much he means to you, then keep showing it. Fuss over him. Use his love language to communicate your affection for him.
- Flirt with him. Just because he’s your partner now doesn’t mean you have to put the flirting 0n hold. Everyone likes to feel desired and flirting is one of the easiest ways to accomplish that. Compliment him. Buy him flowers or something nice. Shower him with random kisses. Leave him adorable messages. Tease him until he starts to blush. Make him feel good about himself. This will make him fall in love with you all over again.
- Create a passion wheel. Construct a digital pie chart on your phone or laptop or good old pen and paper. Divide the chart into twelve sections and then take turns writing a sexual or romantic activity in each section. He can write anything that comes to mind, whether it’s watching you do a striptease or going on a hike together. You can then take turns doing one activity every day or week to spice up your relationship. This can help you keep doing things that your partner enjoys and keep the attraction alive.
- Get physical. Physical touch is a huge part of relationships and one of the ways that we connect intimately with the people we love. This is not limited to sex alone. Try to spend more time kissing your partner, even with the intention of not having sex afterward. Hug him more often, give him massages, hold his hand, and of course introduce some new tricks to the bedroom. Emphasizing physical touch will trigger dopamine receptor’s in your lover’s brain and make him feel happier and more connected to you.
- Put the element of surprise to work. When a guy starts to lose interest in the relationship it’s because the sense of novelty is gone. That thrill and mystery that was alive at the beginning start dying down. Everything feels familiar. He still loves you but being with you doesn’t feel as challenging as it used to be. You can change this by bringing surprise and mystery back. Imagine he’s a guy that you’re trying to woo, how would you catch his attention? Take him on a surprise getaway. Send him meaningful gifts. Little unexpected gestures of affection go a long way.
