Last night was epic, but this hangover is deadly, and actually it’s making your memory a little foggy. You go to text your BFF about what exactly happened last night and you see it — your worst nightmare, the dreaded drunk text. It’s time for some serious damage control.
- Sober up. If you’re still drunk, you’re not going to be able to recover any semblance of dignity, so drink some water stat, and maybe some coffee. Then soak up the alcohol with some carbs — that is, if your stomach can handle it.
- Cure your hangover. That pounding headache has got to go, because now more than ever, you need to be able to think straight. You need to wash away your guilt in the shower and keep the water coming.
- Read the texts. Not going to lie — it’s going to be painful. You’ll find enough embarrassment in the spelling errors alone, but you have to know exactly what you said and who you said it to if you’re ever going to recover.
- Find out what happened last night. Now that you’ve read the texts, you need to make sure that’s the full story. Text your bestie or whoever you were with and find out exactly what happened last night. Once you have all the facts, you can make your plan of action to apologize.
- Admit your inebriation. It’s time for the morning after text. You need to openly admit to your beyond wasted state of inebriation last night. This is your time to apologize. In reality, a couple drunken texts isn’t that big of a deal, but you still need to feel somewhat sorry for the struggle.
- Wait for a text back. Once you’ve admitted your guilt, you need to read the reaction. Was he pissed about what you said? Confused? Happy? What did your blatant text mean to the recipient? Until you know, you won’t be able to know which move to make next.
- Blame it on the alcohol. If he’s not feeling your openness. Blame it on the alcohol. You didn’t mean what you said. Your feelings were heightened by your severe state of inebriation. If you want to back out of whatever you said, your alcohol infused brain is the best excuse.
- Fess up to your true feelings. If he’s open to last night’s honesty, then come clean. Even if the alcohol exaggerated your feelings, there’s probably some truth at the center. So open up and let him know how you really feel — a little honesty can go a long way. You can celebrate with another dose of liquid courage later.
- Forget about it. We all get drunk sometimes. We all make stupid mistakes. If you haven’t ever sent a drunk text, you’re either very lucky or need to live a little. Drunk texts happen, and while it wasn’t your finest moment, it couldn’t have been your worst. So forgive your drunk ass for hitting send and forget your stupid mistake.
- Have a drinking plan. One stupid drunk texting experience can be enough to last a lifetime, so if you never want to go through that hell again, you need a plan for next time. If you know you’re getting drunk that night, turn your phone off when you hit the bar, or enlist your girlfriends to keep an eagle eye view of your clumsy thumbsies. You may not be able to take back your last drunk text, but you can definitely prevent your next little burst of text message honesty.
