How To Make A Guy Miss You Whenever You’re Not Together

In the early stages of a relationship, it’s tempting to spend every waking moment with your new beau. After all, it’s so fun and exciting getting to know each other, right? That said, it’s a healthier option to keep your distance on a regular basis—and better yet, make him miss you when you’re apart. Here’s how to do it.

1. Live your life. Act like he doesn’t exist. I don’t mean that in a rude way, but I mean you should carry on living your life as if he wasn’t in it just as you did before he was Sure, it sounds extreme, but guys love it when you give them “I don’t care” vibes. It makes them want you even more. Trust me, I’ve been there. Several times. However, the most important reason to do this is that it allows you to maintain your own identity which is vital even if things work out long-term.
2. Don’t text him first all the time. Even though it’s super tempting, avoid being the first one to text or call after you’ve recently seen each other. This will make him wonder where you are—and if he’s wondering where you are, he’s probably missing you. That’s not to say you should leave it up to him to make every move, but making yourself scarce sometimes is never a bad idea.
3. Don’t be waiting by the phone. Likewise, don’t be the girl who’s always hanging around waiting for him to call or text. Get on with what you’ve got to do, keep yourself busy, and trust that your bond is strong enough for him to come to you eventually. I guarantee that he will, even if it takes a little longer than you originally thought. If he doesn’t, I’m sorry to tell you that he wasn’t that into you anyway.
4. Try to avoid constant communication. When he does contact you and you’re catching up virtually, it’s important not to bombard him with a constant stream of messages. If he gets the sense that you’re needy, pressuring him, or relying on him in any way, he’ll likely run a mile in the beginning. That’s just what it’s like to date a guy in the digital age. A few messages a day will keep it casual, but phone calls morning, lunchtime, and evening are a bit excessive whether you’ve been in a relationship for two weeks or two months.
5. Make him make the first move to meet up. If you truly want to make him miss you, leave it up to him to take initiative and do all the planning and arranging when it comes to dates and catch-ups. I mean, there’s something about a girl who seems uninterested that makes a guy want to chase and “obtain” her. If the chase isn’t there, he loses interest. Fast.
6. Don’t always be available. For that matter, don’t always be available when your guy suggests meeting up. It’s important he realizes that you have a life outside of your relationship. This doesn’t mean that you should tell him that you’re not free even when you are. It just means that you shouldn’t leave gaps in your schedule “just in case” he might offer to meet up on a particular day. If he likes you as much as you think he does, don’t worry—he will wait until you’re ready to see him.
7. Be active on social media. If your beau sees that you have a rich, fulfilling life (both offline and online) then they will only want to be a part of that. Be sure to post pictures of you having a good time regularly on your social media accounts, whether this is Instagram, Facebook, or whatever, and this will only make him miss you more. After all, doesn’t everyone want to spend time with a happy person who seems to be living a full, positive existence?
8. Focus on other relationships. If you find yourself missing him and struggling to make him miss you, just focus on your other relationships for now. I’m not saying that you should date every new guy you come across. I’m just saying that you should be open to a bit of flirting and avoid putting all your eggs into one basket, so-to-speak. You can also spend any extra time you have with your friends and family to strengthen all the relationships in your life.
9. Make the time that you spend together amazing. Last of all, if you really want him to miss you when you’re apart, be sure to make the time that you spend together incredible. This means that he will always look forward to the next time he’s going to see you, whether this is in two days or two weeks’ time. It also means that you’ll both have great memories to reflect upon and treasure until the next time you see each other. And it will get you both through the time that you’re not together until you can be together again.
10. Slow down or halt communication. If you text and call him 24/7, he won’t have time to miss you. When he texts you, don’t reply right away. Make yourself busy so he’ll start to miss hearing from you. You should also consider missing a call or letting the phone ring for a while before you pick up. The general rule is to make him wait twice as long as he took to reply. If you wait too long, he might think you’re not interested at all. Find the right balance.
11. Send a sexy pic or a flirty text. You can really get a guy going by snapping a sexy pic or sending a flirty text. Don’t give away too much. Tease him a little and let his mind wander. It will make him look forward to the next time he sees you even more. The best time to do this is when you’re both at home in bed. You wouldn’t want to send something inappropriate while he’s at work or around his friends.
12. Be mysterious. You might feel like you need to lay everything on the table at once, but why rush? Take your time in letting him get to know you. If he already knows everything, he may feel like he’s already won you over and might become bored. Don’t offer information he doesn’t ask for but indicate that there’s more to you than meets the eye.
13. Flirt with him. The next time you see him, make sure you flirt with him a lot. Look longingly into his eyes and lean into him when he talks. Don’t be afraid to do things like wink at him, touch his leg, or give him sly smiles. It will make him crave you even more, but don’t let him touch until he proves just how much he wants you.
14. Dress up to tease him. When you start feeling comfortable around the guy, you may feel like you need to stop wowing him, but the truth is, that’s how many women lose their men. He was probably attracted to you in the first place because of your appearance, and you should remind him every now and then that you’re a prize. The next time you go out, be a little extra so he will start drooling over you. You can even take pictures of yourself with his phone so he can find them when he gets home.
15. Have fun without him. Show him that your life does not revolve around him. Go out with your friends and family and have a good time. Post pictures and videos of you on social media having fun. When he sees it, he’ll wish he was there and start thinking about how much fun he could have with you. You can look forward to an invite for a date soon when he sees how booked your schedule is.
16. Be full of surprises. Being predictable can ruin relationships before they even begin. Be the girl that ensures he has a good time and is always willing to try new things. Show him how spontaneous you are by inviting him out on unique dates, or by wining and dining him! Surely he doesn’t expect to be sent flowers or get random gifts. They’ll mean more when he doesn’t expect them.
17. Tell him how much you miss him. When you think the time is right, and he’s shown signs of missing you like calling you to check up on you or texting you often, tell him how much you miss him. Guys love hearing that they are missed. Even though he clearly misses you, you saying this will make him actively think about it and crave you even more!
18. Try “the leave behind.” This is definitely a tad manipulative, I admit, but it can make a guy miss you. Just leave a small belonging of yours in his home or in his car so that he’ll find it but think you just forgot it. That way, he’ll have something of yours that will make him think of you when you’re not around. It doesn’t have to be something too big or too valuable, just a little something that’s undeniably yours.
19. Use social media to your advantage. Needless to say, social media can be a huge manipulation tool in relationships. That makes it a great way to get a guy to miss you. Just post pictures of yourself looking good and enjoying your life. If you post pictures of yourself with other people, especially guys, you can also make a guy jealous at the same time. However, you don’t really even need to go that far. Just photos of you enjoying your life and being happy will make a guy miss you and want to be with you.
20. Pretend your schedule is full. Granted, this might require a text message or two, but being unavailable to a guy can make him miss you and want you more. Of course, if you’re lucky, you won’t have to pretend to be busy because you have other things going on in your life. That being said, just telling him that you’re too busy to hang out with him will give him a chance to miss you. Don’t do this regularly because he’ll get frustrated, but every once in a while is okay.
21. Do a group activity. The best way to get a guy to miss you is to create a little bit of space. This can be accomplished by insisting that you two partake in a group activity. That way, you won’t have to talk to him but you can be around him without being all over him. It’s your chance to become chummy with his friends and family, which will make him want you more and miss you because you’re not giving him all of your attention.
22. Insist on time with your girlfriends. No matter the stage of a relationship, a guy will always miss you when you tell him that you need to ditch him for your girlfriends. In a way, it’s the perfect situation. He doesn’t have to worry about you being with other guys. But at the same time, you’re not around, so he has a chance to think about you and wish you were around.
23. Be happy. Never discount the importance of positive vibes. Happiness is always infectious and makes him want to be around you more. The best part is that you don’t have to talk to a guy to let him know that you’re a happy and upbeat person. It’s all about the way you carry yourself. If you’re always happy and can put a guy in a good mood, there’s no doubt that he’ll start to miss you when you’re not around.
24. Look your best. It should go without saying, but nothing makes a guy pine for you like appealing to his superficial side. You don’t even have to talk to him – just make sure you look good around him. There’s no doubt that he’ll notice how good you look and want to see more of you.
25. Send him nostalgic pictures. Nostalgia can be a powerful and manipulative tool. It’s also a great way to make a guy miss you, especially if you’ve already been together for a while. Try sending him a picture of yourself or the two of you during the early days of your relationship. That will make him remember what it was like early on and why he fell for you. That memory will remind him why he’s with you and make him miss you without you needing to say a word.

How to stop trying to make a guy miss you and move on

While it’s possible to make a guy miss you, it may not be advisable. Is it really worthwhile trying desperately to win a guy’s affection and attention when it’s not there naturally? Here’s how to let go of that desire and start prioritizing yourself instead.

1. Reconnect with your true passions. While you may still be simmering over his rejection or whatever missed opportunity he represents for you, all the emotion you feel is misdirected. He isn’t the reason you wake up in the morning. He isn’t the one true goal of your life. He isn’t the thing that helps you reach your full potential. Your life is so much bigger than your relationship with him, and your passions extend beyond him. Identify the things that bring you joy and excitement outside of romantic relationships, and pursue them with all the energy you’ve devoted to him.
2. Take a break from social media. Social media is the battleground on which past relationship wars are fought. And you may think you’re gaining the upper hand by posting sexy vacation selfies or photos with a new man, but all you’re proving is that you are still desperate for your previous crush’s attention. You’re above all of this. Ignore his social media, and consider deleting or logging off yours entirely. You may not recognize it now, but trust me, he’s not worth it.
3. Become a self-love cliché. We all know the slogans about being your own true love and the need to love yourself before anyone else. And yes, they’re clichés, but they also have a point that a lot of us ignore because it’s inconvenient: Loving yourself is absolutely fundamental to lasting happiness. It takes effort and is a literally endless process that can’t be communicated in a punchy sentence on the cover of a self-help book. But it’s a much more attractive option than wasting your life trying to subtly convince a guy you’ve never dated to wish he’d asked you out when he had the chance.
4. Delete his number. If you absolutely must do something that directly relates to him, let it be the erasure of his contact information from your life. Email, phone number, address, carrier pigeon coordinates, everything. Feeling a desperate compulsion to make him jealous of your new life clearly indicates the necessity of taking drastic action and removing the option altogether. You’ll thank yourself later.
5. Spell it out. Try writing down all the reasons you feel the need to make him miss you. This may seem like a silly exercise, but I promise you, the silliness of the action will pale in comparison to the things you actually end up putting down. Once you see the insanity of your intentions in black and white, you’ll think twice before attempting to follow through with your goal of making him jealous.
6. There’s always therapy. Rejection sucks, no matter how well-adjusted you are. But your need to make him regret his actions and wish he had you may indicate deeper issues within yourself. If you can’t let go of your resentment towards him, maybe it’s time to seek professional help and figure out what he represents for you.
7. Develop healthier habits. You might think that your thoughts about him are out of your control, but you’re just fooling yourself. You’ve developed an unhealthy thought pattern, and every time you succumb to thinking about him, you reinforce it. Instead, try developing other thought patterns–strategize your future, think about all the places you want to travel in the next five years, or, if you absolutely must think about men, think about your ideal partner rather than the disappointing almost-partners of the past.
8. Reboot your life in your own image. Most tactics for making a guy miss you involve changing yourself in ways that you think would make you more desirable in his eyes. Obviously, this approach is self-destructive because it automatically gives power to your idea of him, rather than to yourself. He does not deserve this power. This is your life, and you deserve to be the person you actually want to be. Stop changing yourself to suit some phantom idea of who you think he might want you to be, and choose for yourself.
9. Allow chance to take the lead. Often, our inability to let go of a person comes from a need for control. We want to be the drivers of our lives, and have a hard time imagining a future that we haven’t planned. But holding onto the idea of “what could have been” only perpetuates a feeling of helplessness and loss. Once you realize that you don’t have to be in control of every aspect of your life, you will be free to meet chance encounters as opportunities. Let go of what you thought you wanted, and be open to the unexpected. It just might lead you where you want to go.