How Do You Handle Relationships When You’re Terrified Of Love?

How Do You Handle Relationships When You’re Terrified Of Love? ©iStock/ajkkafe

Men aren’t the only ones that are afraid of commitment. Some of us ladies are scared of dating, as well, because we don’t want to get our hearts broken. That’s why we run away whenever a relationship starts to get serious. Of course, we can’t run forever, which is why it’s time for those of us who are terrified of falling in love to learn how to get over it, so we can experience everything romantic partnership has to offer.

  1. Find someone worth dating. You’ll never be able to commit to someone you don’t really care about. That’s why you need to wait to date until you find someone you can imagine having a future with. Once you do, it won’t be as hard for you to open yourself up to love.
  2. Move slowly. You don’t have to have sex on the first date. You don’t have to say “I love you” a few months into dating, either. Move at a pace that you’re comfortable with. If it takes you three years to move in with someone, that’s okay. Every relationship is different.
  3. Talk through your problems. If you’re terrified of love, then there are a lot of little things that could scare you away from your partner. Whenever something happens, no matter how small, bring it up in conversation. Letting him know how you’re feeling could save your relationship. You don’t want to keep anything bottled up.
  4. Set aside some alone time. You don’t have to spend every waking minute with your boyfriend. Even if you end up living with him, you can tell him to go out with his friends on certain nights so that you’ll have the house to yourself. You don’t have to be glued at the hip.
  5. Remember that every man is different. If you’re scared of commitment because your ex broke your heart, you have to remember that your new boyfriend isn’t like your old one. They’re two completely different people, so don’t blame him for your old flame’s mistakes. Give him the clean slate he deserves.
  6. Don’t overanalyze his actions. Don’t try to decipher every action your boyfriend makes. If your man looks at another woman, it doesn’t mean he’s going to cheat on you. If he stares at her and flirts with her, that’s another story. However, if his actions are harmless, don’t make yourself sick over them.
  7. Stop flirting with other men. Once you enter a relationship, you need to stop flirting with other men. Your worst fear is getting your heart broken, so why would you break your partner’s heart? Don’t make it your mission to hurt him before he hurts you.
  8. Don’t meet his family too early. If you meet his family early on, you might feel like everything is moving too quickly. Besides, if you end up dumping him, you’ll upset the entire family. That’s why you should wait until things get super serious to actually meet his parents.
  9. Find healthy couples to admire. If you’re terrified of commitment, because your parents are divorced, you should find an older couple that can prove how differently marriage can turn out. They might even be able to pass on some helpful information to keep your relationship strong.
  10. Remember that it’ll all be worth it. Sure, your partner might end up breaking your heart, but he might end up marrying you and making you happier than ever instead. Stop worrying about the bad things that could happen, and just enjoy your relationship while it lasts, because it could last forever.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.
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