When you meet a great guy after a long line of crappy ones, it’s only natural that you’d want to invest all your time and energy into getting to know him. After all, you’re looking for a real, long-lasting relationship and you’re well aware that takes time and effort. However, it seems like you’re investing more of that than he is even though he claims to like you. What the hell? Here’s how to be a priority in his life rather than just an option when he has nothing better going on.
- Avoid putting him first or bending over backward to please him. While this may sound counterintuitive, it makes a lot of sense. Guys can often get freaked out and/or scared off when a woman they’ve just started seeing comes on too strong or seems too desperate. While relationships are all about compromise, you should avoid building your life around him and changing plans or opinions to suit him. Be true to yourself and allow him to fit into your life rather than rearranging everything to make sure he does. This will show him that you have other things going on and that while you’re willing to make an effort, it needs to be a two-way street.
- Figure out his love language and communicate with him that way. Not everyone loves the same way, and that’s fine. If you’re wondering how to be a priority in his life, you’ll need to make sure you’re interacting with him in the way he responds to best. For instance, does he feel most cared about and content when you perform acts of service like bringing him a coffee on a Saturday morning or going with him to pick up groceries on a Thursday night? Or, maybe he really enjoys physical touch and likes hand-holding, hugs and kisses, etc. Whatever his love language, learn to speak it – and if yours is different, expect the same in return.
- Respect his other priorities and interests. Even when you’re a priority in a guy’s life, you’re never going to be his only one – nor should you be. He’s going to have other interests, responsibilities, and things he cares about and makes time for, and that’s okay. It’s important to understand that you’re not the center of his world, you’re just a big part of it. As long as he makes space for you among the other elements of his life, you’re good.
- Give him time to himself. It’s a simple fact that most guys need more time on their own than women do when in relationships. This is normal and healthy and you shouldn’t begrudge him this. There’s nothing worse than feeling smothered by someone – and there’s nothing that makes you want to run for the hills faster. Make sure he has time to hang out with the guys, play video games, go for a run, whatever. After all, you should be using that time to live your own best life as well, so that when you come together, time is even more valuable.
