There’s nothing more frustrating than when you’re dating someone and feel like they’re hard to read because they’re a bit closed off. While trust takes time to build and not everyone is an open book, there comes a time when they need to let you in if you’re ever going to create a deep, long-lasting connection. Here’s how to get a man to open up and really talk to you so you can strengthen your bond and become an unbreakable couple.
- Offer him the same in return. If you want him to feel comfortable telling you all of his deepest thoughts and feelings, you should be prepared to offer the same in return. No one is going to want to bare their soul to someone who keeps their cards close to their chest and won’t offer the same in return. Be honest, vulnerable, and willing to let him in on the tough stuff and he’ll be more likely to feel safe doing the same.
- Ask him questions and accept the answer. If there’s an area of his life you want to know more about, the best way to get the answer is to simply ask him. Ask him what made him want to pursue his current career or what the biggest issue he and his ex-girlfriend had or why his parents split up. Whatever you’re curious about, you might as well come out with it. He may reply by saying that he doesn’t want to talk about it and if he does, you should accept it and not press him. The fact that you’re asking at all will likely plant a seed in the back of his mind and you might revisit the topic in the future.
- Be a good listener. If you want to know how to get a man to open up, you need to hone your listening skills. Don’t interrupt him when he’s sharing something important and don’t try to steer all the conversations back to yourself. Don’t offer advice or opinions unless warranted. Instead, really listen to him and absorb what he’s saying so you can gain a better understanding of him and where he’s coming from.
- Create a judgment-free zone. Again, he’s not going to want to open up to you if he feels like you’re going to judge him or shame him over what he says. Let him know that whatever he wants to share with you can be done freely without fear of rejection. Just because guys aren’t as open about this fear doesn’t mean they don’t experience it, so don’t give him any reason to doubt you.
- Don’t force the issue. There’s nothing wrong with telling him straight up that you’d like him to open up more, but forcing him to do so (or trying to) is only going to backfire and cause the exact opposite to happen. By being a good listener, offering him your unwavering support, and being open and honest with him in return, you’re doing all the right things and it’ll likely happen on its own in due time.
