As a guy, I can tell you that deciding to settle down and commit to one person can be a scary thing, and it’s not something we take lightly. It’s not that we don’t love you, we just need to be sure about it. With that in mind, here are a few ways that you can get your boyfriend to settle down with you in a long-term relationship (without being manipulative).
- Make sure he’s the right guy. You can’t force a guy to settle down, and you don’t want to end up with the wrong guy anyway. The first step in this process is making sure you’re with the right person for the right reasons. You should have zero doubt that he’s the right guy; you don’t want to settle down just because you think you should. You also have to truly believe that he’s ready to settle down even if he just needs a few nudges to get there.
- Be confident in yourself. Before a guy can be sure about you, you need to be sure of yourself. Most guys hate insecurity. We’ll always sidestep commitment and give ourselves an out if we sense deep insecurity in someone. If you’re confident and secure in who you are on the inside and the outside, guys can sense that and we’ll be attracted to that, not to mention comfortable committing to someone like that long-term.
- Forge a deep connection. It’s not hard to find people to talk to or even to sleep with. Your relationship has to go deeper than that for a guy to consider settling down. You two need to connect on a deeper level. There needs to be something about you that he can’t live without and that he doesn’t get from anybody else. If you can find ways to inspire him or encourage him to chase his dreams, he’ll realize that there’s no one else he wants. This will make any guy feel better about settling down.
- Connect with his friends and family. There’s a fine line when it comes to his friends and family. You can’t be too enthusiastic about meeting them too soon; you have to take things slow and steady, just like any other relationship. However, getting along well with his friends and family is huge. It’ll show him that your two lives are intertwined. When he sees that you’re connected to everyone else in his life, he’ll realize that it’s time to settle down with you.
- Show him you appreciate him. Guys are a little different from you. Everybody wants someone to want them, but a lot of guys want someone to need them. We need to feel appreciated and like we’re essential to your life. Admittedly, this sounds a little silly. It also goes both ways in a relationship. You have to convince a guy that you appreciate him for who he is, flaws and all. If he feels appreciated, he’ll be all-in on the relationship and more willing to settle down.
- Show him you two have good sexual chemistry. Yes, there are things guys care about in a relationship more than sex, but sex still matters. No guy wants to settle down in a relationship that isn’t satisfying sexually. We’re sure you feel the same way. Before a guy can firmly settle down and commit to a relationship, he needs to know that his sex life will still be exciting and satisfying for both parties. You can’t just be going through the motions in the bedroom. Before settling down, both of you have to reassure each other that the sexual chemistry is there and there to stay.
- Be happy. You’re in a relationship because it makes you happy, right? So just be happy. Enjoy being in the relationship even if you’re a little frustrated that your partner won’t commit. A guy isn’t going to settle down if he’s not happy. More importantly, if he senses you’re not happy, he won’t be happy in the relationship either. Just make sure you’re spending time together and enjoying being with each other. He needs to feel like his happy place is with you by his side. There’s no way he’ll commit otherwise.
- Don’t push too hard. As I mentioned at the beginning, you can’t force a guy to settle down. You have to let him get there on his own. There can’t be any ultimatums, idle threats, or big arguments on the subject. Even some good old-fashioned reverse psychology can backfire. You can let him know how you feel and where you stand. Other than that, just be patient and let him get there on his own. If he’s the right guy, he’ll eventually realize that he wants to settle down with you.
