I was always called quiet growing up, and it was pretty annoying. I had a rough time in high school (I know — who didn’t?) and desperately wanted to grow up and get the hell out of there and become a writer. Once I got to college and was in a more creative atmosphere, I found my confidence, and now I’m no longer the shy, quiet girl I once was. Yet it still bugs me when people call someone quiet and act like there’s something wrong with it. Here’s why you shouldn’t be ashamed if you’re the strong and silent type, and why you’re worth getting to know:
- We have a quiet confidence. There’s something mysterious about someone who knows what they want and isn’t apologizing for it. If you’re quiet, you don’t have anything to prove. You’re confident, even if people don’t realize it. Who cares if they don’t get it?
- We don’t need to shout to be heard. Once you reach a certain age – mid-20s, let’s say – being loud becomes pretty obnoxious. It’s no longer cool to act like an idiot. We all have bills to pay and work to do – you know, the stuff that comes with being an adult.
- We’re amazing, loyal friends. Why? Because we’re super good listeners. We actually care about what’s going on in your world and we’re not obsessed with ourselves. Who would you rather have in your corner, a girl that’s a bit quiet or someone who screams her head off every time you see her? The choice is pretty obvious.
- We’re big dreamers. When people thought I was the quiet girl in high school, they were right. But it wasn’t a bad thing. I was daydreaming 100 percent of the time – in English class, trying to understand what the Math teacher was droning on about, at lunch when I escaped to Starbucks. All those hours spent dreaming made me who I am today: a thoughtful and intelligent writer (in my humble opinion). Dreaming is never a bad thing.
- Sometimes there’s no point in talking. Let’s be honest here — if you’re trapped at a truly awful conference for work or at the most boring party you’ve ever been to, there might not be anyone who is actually worth talking to. Or you might be at a dinner with a conceited person who won’t let anyone else get a word in. I’m 100 percent positive that there are people who get super quiet in those types of situations. So let’s all agree to stop the silence shaming.
- We’re not quiet once you get to know us. It’s just a fact that certain people are quieter when they’re in a new situation or with people they don’t know. Once you get to know us, though, you can’t shut us up. And it’s all okay.
- We’re just like you. At the end of the day, we all worry about the same stuff: if we’ll have anything to talk about on a date, if that first date will lead to a second, if we’ll get what we want out of life. Some of us are outgoing, some of us are not, and it really doesn’t make a difference.
- Public speaking is no one’s forte. Raise your hand if you’re totally afraid of public speaking. Your hand is raised, isn’t it? They say that we’re more scared of speaking in front of a ton of people than death. How freaky is that? The next time you want to make fun of someone for seeming quiet when you first meet them, remember how scared you are to speak in public.
- We’re all quiet when going through a tough time. When we’re having a tough time, we don’t exactly feel like gossiping and chatting and laughing with others. I can guarantee that even if you don’t consider yourself on the quiet side, you’re going to become pretty quiet while you work through it. If you think someone seems quiet, consider the fact that maybe they’re having a hard time. If we could just have a bit more compassion towards everyone, I don’t think people would even notice if someone was quiet. We’d just see them as a fellow human being.
