Breakups suck, but it’s the days, weeks, and sometimes even months after that are the worst. You tell yourself that you’re trying to move on and you’re doing your best, but are you actually making things worse? If you’re really serious about getting over your ex, you should avoid doing these 9 things, because they’ll only hold you back:
- Wallowing. Sure, you need to acknowledge your feelings about the end of your relationship, but throwing yourself a 24/7 pity party isn’t going to help. It encourages you to focus on the good times you shared with your ex and makes you doubt yourself/the end of the relationship when really, it ended for a reason (and probably a good one). You need to keep busy so you can move on.
- Stuffing your face. Usually with chocolate chip cookies, potato chips and ice cream. Um, why would you do this to yourself? So you can feel even more disgusting and gain about 25 pounds? Please don’t do this. This guy is not worth ruining your health kick.
- Getting back in the game too soon. Going on another date is basically the worst thing you could do right about now. Close Tinder, put down your iPhone and tell your best friend you don’t want to meet her coworker. You’re just going to compare this new guy to your ex, and that’s not what you need. It’s time for a dating hiatus while you heal.
- Believing time will heal all wounds. Really? When your heart is super broken and you have to say goodbye to someone you thought would be around forever and ever, that might not heal as fast as people seem to think, and that’s OK. You may never be 100 percent over what you want through with your ex, but as long as you learn from it and it doesn’t dictate the rest of your life, that’s totally normal.
- Thinking you need closure. Nope, you probably don’t. Why would you want to talk to your ex when he hurt you this badly? If he dumped you, you might not know exactly why because he could be going through something weird, but you probably saw some signs. Forget the need for closure, because you won’t get it.
- Taking up a new hobby. Why? So you can become a person you don’t even recognize? You’re a grown-up, so you’ve already figured out your likes and dislikes and how you want to spend your free time. Don’t trade in your beloved Netflix nights for a watercolor painting class if that’s not your jam.
- Socializing. If the last thing you feel like doing is plastering a smile on your face and going to a party, then stay home. You’re old enough to know what you want, and if you need some alone time, go for it.
- Doing something crazy. You don’t have to overhaul your entire world just because you got dumped. If you wouldn’t have done the thing you’re thinking about doing before you ended your relationship, why would you now? Sure, change can be good, but change for the sake of it will likely backfire.
- Crying it out. Break the breakup rule that says you absolutely have to sob your eyes out listening to sad songs or watching romantic movies. If you’re not a crier, don’t force it. You should get over your breakup however you want, and you don’t need to destroy your mascara if that’s not your thing.
