Forget Prince Charming — He’s Always The Wrong Guy Anyway

The idea of Prince Charming riding up on a white horse to sweep you off your feet is ingrained in most women from a young age. But buying into these idea just creates an impossible standard that sets women up for disappointment, and can even put them in danger. Here’s why you should forget about finding your Prince Charming.

1. He’ll put you on a pedestal. One of the main problems with the Prince Charming fairy tale is that the prince always puts the princess on a pedestal. A typical Prince Charming gushes over how beautiful and perfect his princess is. While it’s nice to hear praise like that, the truth is being put on a pedestal and admired obsessively is unhealthy. When he puts you on a pedestal, he’s more likely to be disappointed when you eventually act in flawed and human ways. And he’s more likely to have unrealistic expectations of you. You’re not a Disney princess, so it’s better that your partner sees you as a real person.
2. Love doesn’t happen at first sight. People looking for a Prince Charming are often waiting for someone to come and sweep them off their feet overnight. They’re not looking for a real relationship that grows into love, but rather to fall in love at first sight. And unfortunately, that kind of love doesn’t really exist. You might be attracted to someone at first sight. They might feel like home and you might hit off. You can feel captivated by them from the second you set eyes on them. But you can’t have trust, commitment, respect, loyalty, and the other things involved in love, just from looking at someone.
3. Nobody is perfect. How do we know that Prince Charming doesn’t exist? Because nobody is perfect. When someone comes along and acts like they’re perfect, that’s usually a red flag rather than a green flag. People who portray themselves as perfect are often putting up a front that conceals things about them they don’t want you to see. They also tend to be deeply insecure and believe that if they’re anything less than perfect, they’re not good enough.
4. Only you can rescue yourself. You should abandon the hope of Prince Charming coming to rescue you because, ultimately, only you can rescue yourself. A relationship won’t have the power to fix all of your issues, nor should it. If you allow a man to be the sole reason for your happiness, you’re giving him all of your power. Instead of waiting to be rescued, take action to rescue yourself. That way, you won’t rely on anyone else to save you or make you happy.
5. Viewing a person as Prince Charming can lead to unhealthy attachment. Prince Charming doesn’t actually exist. But if you hold out for a fairy tale prince, and then someone comes along who you believe is your Prince Charming, you’re less likely to form a healthy relationship with them. You’re more likely to be attached to that person and lose your independence and identity. After all, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking, “I’ve finally got my Prince Charming—I’ll do anything to keep him in my life.”

More reasons to forget about Prince Charming

1. It can also lead to you putting up with more than you should. Similarly, believing that you’ve landed a Prince Charming can lead to you staying in a relationship that’s not good for you. When you put your partner on a pedestal like that, you’re more likely to overlook their flaws and red flags, including those that are unacceptable.
2. Prince Charming types can be predators. Though many men are genuinely as nice as they seem, there are also those who turn on the charm to manipulate and win over women. If you’re determined to find a Prince Charming, you might fail to notice the red flags that a man is actually a predator hiding behind the front of charm.
3. Healthy relationships take compromise and sacrifice and hard work. In the world of Disney, relationships involve two people sharing a kiss and living happily ever after, with little to no conflict between them (the conflict tends to be reserved for the witches and dragons). In real life, we don’t have to worry about evil witches, but our relationships are a little more complicated. There’s a lot more to making a relationship work than a perfect kiss. Healthy relationships require compromise and sacrifice, and it’s hard work sometimes. Waiting for a Prince Charming might mean that you’ll bail on a relationship when these perfectly normal things occur.
4. Sometimes you don’t know what you want until you have it. It’s important to keep an open mind when you’re searching for the one. Sometimes, you won’t know exactly who you’re looking for until you’ve met them. So don’t turn away people because they don’t fit in with your Prince Charming standard at first glance. No one is perfect, but you have a better chance of finding someone perfect for you if you give more people a chance. Some of the best partners can come in surprising packages!
5. You don’t need a Prince Charming to be happy. Stop looking for Prince Charming because you don’t need him to get your fairy tale ending. In fact, according to clinical psychologist Eric Wee Chong Tan, you don’t even need a partner to be happy. A healthy relationship can contribute to your life in a huge way, but don’t fall for the belief that you need one before you can start feeling happy. If you wait for Prince Charming to bring happiness into your life, you’ll be waiting forever to experience a feeling that is your birthright.