So you’ve made it past the honeymoon phase and you’re still going strong. Congrats! Long term relationships can be wonderful and enhance your life with love, support, and security. However, they can also make you a little weird and annoying. Here are 12 embarrassing things that can happen to you as a side effect of being in a long term relationship.
- Unintentionally becoming regulars at a restaurant. Your server greets you by name and asks you if you’ll be having the usual. Crap, you guys really HAVE eaten there that many times. Time to mix things up.
- Losing the ability to stay up past 11 pm. Why would you stay at the bar until last call when you already know who you’re going home with? Long term relationship people grow accustomed to calling it an early night, getting it in, and going to sleep. It’s going to take quite the special occasion to keep you from yawning at 11 pm.
- Forgetting to close the door when you pee. Your comfort level is so high that this is a common occurrence in your home, so you sometimes forget to do it when you have company over. Whoops.
- Accidentally bringing your man to girls’ night. You might need your friends to write “no boys allowed” in pink glitter on your invite to stop you from assuming he’s invited everywhere. It’s not your fault you like it when all your favorite people hang out together!
- Baby deering in your sexy heels. How did you used to wear these every night? The casual dates and nights cuddled up at home have left you a little awkward in your sexy gear. You can still slay a selfie, though.
- Inadvertently groping in public. You literally can’t stop touching each other and have somehow completely forgotten what appropriate behavior in public is.
- Constantly texting each other when you’re apart. When you actually get some time out without bae, you catch yourself texting him updates of what you’re doing and where you’re going. Maybe you miss him or maybe you just want to make him jealous of the delicious maple bacon whiskey you’re drinking. Either way, you can’t stop texting him.
- Harshly judging new couples. You two have become masters at the art of dating. Naïve young love is a joke to you and you relentlessly point out mistakes people make in the early stages of their relationships. You know all the reasons why new lovers aren’t perfect for each other and can’t help but estimate (pretty accurately) how long your friends’ relationships will last.
- Realizing the number of friends you have has plummeted. You slowly stopped hanging out with most of your single friends, or they stopped hanging out with you. You don’t have a ton in common anymore and keeping up with single people is exhausting.
- Saying your inside jokes at inappropriate times. Inside jokes and obscure references only your partner would understand seem to pop out of your mouth at parties or at the bar. You sometimes can’t stop yourself from trying to explain why it’s funny, but it’s not. Just stop talking.
- Being a package deal. After enough time, people always ask where your partner is when you show up somewhere without them. Um, nice to see you too… aren’t I good enough by myself?
- Complaining about every social venue, especially in the winter. Literally everywhere is horrible and overpriced. Why did you leave the comfort of your cozy home? There’s food and booze there you already paid for!
