I’ve had enough relationships by now to learn that there’s no point in putting up with drama. A healthy partnership may not always be exciting, but stability and deep emotional connection are far better than dramatic highs and heartbreaking lows. If you bring nothing but an emotional roller coaster to my life, I’d rather you just leave now.
- Games are for kids, not grownups. Honestly, what is the point? I don’t get it and I never have. Games aren’t fun, or exciting, or an indication of deep passionate love. Mature adults don’t deal in trickery when it comes to relationships. If this is your M.O., know that I won’t be participating. You’d better go find some other girl.
- I deserve a man who only has eyes for me. If you feel the need to flirt with other women just to feed your insecure ego, then obviously we aren’t a good match. I’m perfectly capable of staying true to the person I love, and I want a partner who can do the same. You may not actually cheat, but the repercussions are still harmful to our relationship. If you aren’t secure enough to get your attention from only me, I’ll find a man who is.
- If you want a relationship, you gotta man up. Look, dating isn’t all about love and romance. Relationships are hard work, and they require commitment and dedication. If you make up excuses for every mistake, it’s just not going to work. We all have flaws. If you can’t admit to your own imperfection, there’s no room for us to grow. You have to choose between me and your ego.
- Communication skills aren’t a bonus — they’re essential. Maybe you’ve never dated a grown woman who expects communication before, but that’s not really my problem. I won’t be with yet another man who can’t express his feelings or work out a conflict with me. I’ve had it with men who “forget” to communicate. If you won’t put in the energy necessary to be a good partner, I’ll bow out.
- Your ego will get you nowhere. If you think I’m not good enough for you, why are you even here? I won’t allow my boyfriend to patronize me or talk down to me. I’m better than that, and somewhere deep inside, so are you. You’re just afraid to let someone see it. That’s too bad, because I’d be the best woman you ever had if you would let go of all your baggage.
- I demand respect from my partner. It is, after all, one of the major tenets of a healthy, functional relationship. I respect any man I’m dating, but you have to do the same in turn. You can’t expect me to give you something that I’m not getting back. Your behavior isn’t cute and you can’t excuse it. Either you respect me or you don’t. There’s no middle ground.
- Cheating is never, ever okay. If you’re even thinking about cheating, I want you to please exit my life immediately. I don’t have time to put up with a man who doesn’t take our relationship seriously. If you don’t want me, I’ll find someone who does. Don’t think you’ll get away with it, either — I’m smarter than that. I can smell when something’s fishy with my partner.
- I deserve a mature responsible adult as a partner. We’re getting too old for childish stunts. I want us to be able to count on each other, but I also want a guy who can stand on his own two feet. If you’re always blaming all your problems on everyone else, you need a reality check. Stand up, man up, and own your crap. I’m not your mommy, and I will only stand by your side as an equal.
- Fighting dirty is unacceptable in my life. I want to be with someone who lifts me up instead of bringing me down. Yes, actions speak louder than words, but words have the power to hurt beyond belief. If you can’t think before you speak and you lash out defensively, you need to cut it out pronto. I won’t be subjected to your filthy tactics.
- If you screw up, own up to it. We’ll both be better off if you admit to your mistakes immediately instead of trying to cover your tracks or passing off the blame. Be an adult, say you were wrong, and apologize so we can both move on. If you try to deny it, you’re just setting us both up for failure. We can’t create something positive and constructive from lies and denial.
