You Can’t Buy My Love, But It Certainly Isn’t Free

I don’t care how much money you have and how much of it you’re willing to spend on me. I’ve never been materialistic, and certainly not when it comes to love. If you want to be with me, you have to show me by the way you behave, not through what you can give me:

  1. You have to treat me with respect. That should be a given — I won’t love you unconditionally. Why would I continue to be with a man who refuses to treat me with respect, courtesy and love? I love myself too much to accept that kind of treatment. I deserve better than that, so if you can’t treat me right, then you’ll get no love from me.
  2. You have to stay faithful. Emotionally and physically. I want to be the only romantic interest in your life. Is that so much to ask? I’m looking for a one-woman kind of man. If you want my love that I need your faithful commitment. Anything else would be the utmost betrayal.
  3. I need you to trust me. A relationship is nothing without trust. I don’t want a guy who’s constantly on my tail or who obsesses over where I am and what I’m doing. I don’t want a guy who worries about my guy friends or tries to tell me who I can hang out with. If you trust me (and you should) then they’ll be nothing to worry about, and I’ll give that same courtesy to you.
  4. I should be able to count on you. If you say you’ll be there, I expect you to be there. I need you to stand by me through all the ups and downs. In a world of uncertainty, just be my rock. Be the one person I can count on. Be the shoulder I can cry on when I fail and the person cheering when I succeed. I might be an independent woman, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be able to depend on you.
  5. My sexual needs should matter. You should care about my orgasm as much as you care about your own. I shouldn’t have to fake it to avoid bruising your ego. If you love me then you’ll want to fulfill my every desire, because that’s exactly what I’m going to do with you.
  6. I need to feel appreciated. Taking me for granted isn’t an option here. If you can’t appreciate me and the things I do for you, then why should I stay? I’m a great girl and I know my worth. I won’t let a man take advantage of me. If I love you with my whole heart, I want the same in return.
  7. You have to make time for me. I’m not going to waste my time waiting around for a guy who’s “too busy” to be with me. If I can make time for you with my busy schedule then you can do the same. This is a two-way street. I know our schedules will get hectic sometimes, but if our relationship matters, we have to find time to nurture it.
  8. I need you to make an effort. I can’t be the one doing all the work. If we want this relationship to last, then we both have to be willing to fight for it. Love is wonderful, but it’s never going to be easy. We’ll have our ups and downs. We’re going to fight — that’s life, but as long as we both keep trying, we can make it work.
  9. Forgive me when I’m wrong and be sorry when you are. We’re both going to make mistakes and unintentionally hurt each other’s feelings. That’s part of life, but the best thing we can do is actually care when we hurt each other. We need to feel true remorse and then take action to make things better. More than that, we need to be able to forgive each other for those mistakes and finally move forward. Give and take — that’s what relationships are all about.
  10. Be my very best friend. The word friend is in the word boyfriend for a reason. You can’t just be my lover — you also have to be my friend. I want you to be the first person I share my good news with and the one I turn to for comfort when I get bad news. I want us to be able to share everything, to be there to support and encourage each other and to be best friends.
  11. You shouldn’t be afraid to build a life with me. Guys who are afraid of commitment need not apply. I want a guy I can build a future with, not one who’s too afraid to love me the way I deserve. If you want my love then you have to be willing to make plans. I’m not going to settle for a temporary love. I want forever, so if you don’t see a future with me in it, please let me go.
  12. I need you to love me back. If you want me to fall in love with you, then you have to fall just as hard for me. This can’t be a one-way street. I want us to be head over heels for each other. I want to know what it’s like for a man to love me with his whole heart. The best way to ensure love from me is to love me back each and every day. It’s a heavy price, but if you’re The One, it’s practically free because you’ll feel so lucky to be with me.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.
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