I was still dating my high school sweetheart when I went away to college. My freshman year was so fun, but a part of me felt like I wasn’t getting the full experience. I liked my boyfriend a lot, but I realized he was the one thing that was holding me back. It was a difficult decision to make, but I knew I had to cut the last tie that was keeping me connected to my home town.
- I wasn’t letting loose. At first, going home every other weekend was comforting. Although my school wasn’t very far away, I was always a homebody so it was a hard transition for me. My boyfriend, like my hometown, was a source of comfort. After a while, though, I started to discover new things about myself. I started coming out of my shell and I made a ton of new friends. I’d start to dread the weekends I knew I’d be going back home. I wanted to stick around and get crazy with my new classmates.
- College is a time for exploration. I was young, in a new environment, and very ready to meet new people. I was no longer surrounded by people I had known since 5th grade. Everyone had a fresh story to tell and I found myself growing farther apart from my boyfriend back home. I started to see myself in a new light and I wanted to explorer this new side of me.
- I always follow my gut. A part of me was scared to let my boyfriend go. I felt like I was replacing him with an unknown prospect and it felt cruel in a way. A bigger part of me felt like I was doing the right thing. I was starting a new chapter of my life and I wanted to allow myself some time to figure it out.
- I wanted to experience something new. I had been with my guy for so long, I forgot what it felt like to be with someone else. I never cheated on my boyfriend, but I allowed myself to get a little flirty during my nights out. I began to crave that feeling more and more.
- I never shamed myself for having needs. I felt a little guilty for wanting to sleep with other men, but I never felt ashamed for having that desire. I’ve got needs just like anyone else, and they weren’t being met! I wanted to be spontaneous and hook up with guys I liked and my relationship was getting in the way of that.
- I wasn’t ready to settle down. I came to terms with the fact that I was too young to be in such a serious relationship. I felt like such an adult when I was in high school, but going away to school made me realize how naive and silly I had been. Yes, I was mature for my age, but I also realized how fun it could be to let myself embrace my youth.
- I cared about my boyfriend. My boyfriend was still a senior in high school when I went away to college. To him, everything remained the same. The only thing that had changed was me, and that wasn’t his fault. I broke things off as gently as I could and for the most part he understood why I did it. I cared about him a lot, and I knew breaking up with him would hurt, but not as much as being unfaithful.
- The relationship wasn’t going to work out. I didn’t see a point in stringing my boyfriend along if I felt the need to sleep with other people. Obviously, my feelings had changed and staying with him would have hurt both of us in the long run.
- I learned a bit about myself. I never really experienced dating in any other form than being with one other person for long stretches of time. I never dated multiple people at once or considered the option of an open relationship. When I got to college, I didn’t feel like I wanted to sleep with every guy in the room but I did want to give myself some room to explorer my options. Being single afforded me that ability.
- I appreciate my relationships so much more now. I knew before I went away to school that my relationship with my high school boyfriend wouldn’t last forever. Regardless of that fact, I let things drag on because of my guilt and my tendency to want to please others. After I broke up with him, I realized how fulfilling it was to give myself what I wanted. Now when I enter into a relationship, I make sure to put myself first once in a while and when I do settle down with someone, I know it’s for the right reasons.
