Feel Like Your Breakup Is Going To Kill You? Here’s How To Get Back On Your Feet Again

Here you are: your heart has been broken and you’re seriously considering sneaking alcohol into your orange juice this morning. Maybe the heartbreak was a long time coming, or maybe it completely blindsided you. Either way, you’re devastated and the world seems a little less bright today. But don’t worry — you’re going to get through this, and this is how you’re going to do it:

1. Keep in mind that heartbreak doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Being in pain sucks, but it’s making you stronger and wiser. It may not feel like that right now, but you’ll be grateful for the experience in the future. Heartbreak brings everything into focus and makes it easier to see what went wrong. That’s a valuable opportunity, and you shouldn’t let it go to waste. Pain will lead to either change or destruction, and it’s entirely up to you which road you go down. Don’t treat pain like an anchor and let it drag you down or hold you back —treat it like fuel and use it to launch yourself forward.
2. Don’t ignore the pain. Heartbreak is unpleasant, but you shouldn’t bury it deep within your consciousness and leave it to suppurate. It’s okay to feel like a big pile of crap when your heart has been ripped in half, and it’s okay if it takes you some time to bounce back. You’re not a broken person for feeling rage and sorrow, but those things will definitely break you if you ignore them instead of letting them take their natural course.
3. Remember he might be hurting too. Men are human, too. They aren’t immune to pain, and they feel heartbreak too. A man isn’t automatically the bad guy in every situation just because he happened to be born with a certain set of chromosomes. It’s possible that you hurt him too, and he’s feeling just as lost as you are right now. Every situation is different and love is a complicated, nettlesome jerk, but that’s no excuse to pin all the blame on him just to save yourself. You played a role in this mess, too.
4. Don’t lose your sense of humor. As long as you can laugh at yourself and everything else, you’ll be fine. Humor can help you cope, heal, and overcome. You’re not a broken person if you have the ability to see the absurdity in things and laugh at them.
5. Take your future in your hands. When all is said and done, you’re the only one who has control over your life. You have the freedom to determine where you’re going and who you’re taking with you. Getting your heart broken is a bump in the road, not an epic cataclysm that brings the entire world to a screeching halt. Things might be rough right now, but you still have an incredible amount of control over your life. What you choose to do with that control is entirely up to you.
6. Don’t forget the people who care about you. Your friends and family are still around, right? Don’t shut them out. Being with them and their weird inside jokes can help you regain the part of yourself that you thought you lost. They know that you’re hurting, and they want to be there for you. Let them do that, but don’t turn into a dark cloud of constant negativity and drag them down with you.
7. Remind yourself that you’re not alone. Heartbreak can feel isolating, but you are far from alone. Hearts get broken every day, and there will always be someone out there who feels just as crappy as you do. Those other people will recover eventually and move on with their lives and you will, too.
8. Don’t use heartbreak as an excuse. It’s okay to screw up and it’s okay to feel crappy. It’s not okay to blame heartbreak for your life falling apart. Getting your heart broken sucks, but that doesn’t mean you have to spin out of control and wake up with ice cream hangovers every day. It’s possible to keep it together even though you’re screaming like a banshee on the inside. Just keep moving forward.
9. Pick yourself up again. You’ve been here before and the heartbreak is a familiar sensation. Or maybe this is the first time you’ve had your heart broken and the misery is foreign territory to you. Either way, the pain will dull over time and you’ll rise above this. This is not the end.
10. Take pride in the fact that you’re still here. Your heart may be hurting, but you’re still alive and kicking. Dragging yourself out of bed every morning and carrying on with your life is probably a struggle but you’re doing it anyway. That has to count for something. Give yourself a hug and go pour yourself a drink, you sexy beast.