The honeymoon stage is one of the most exciting times in a relationship. Everything is new and exciting, every moment together is full of butterflies, and love is just… good. My boyfriend and I were happily enjoying that phase together… until he got over it.
- What’s the rush? If we’re going we’re going to be together long-term like I hope we are then what’s the rush to get comfy? We have lots of time to act like an old married couple that has weathered more ups and downs than anyone younger could fathom. We met, it was flirty and fun, and we fell in love—why would anyone want to leave that phase so quickly?
- The spark has faded. I catch myself reminiscing about the early days of our relationship when we would tease each other playfully, buy each other a round of drinks, and sneak a kiss mid-conversation. We enjoyed reminding each other how much we liked the other, but those reminders are no longer there. I guess now we’re just expected to know…
- It’s been less than a year, which seems kind of soon. The honeymoon stage doesn’t last any particular amount of time, but I feel like since we haven’t even been together a year yet, it should still be going strong. There’s so much to do and so much to learn from someone over the course of four seasons. Plus, I’m not seeing him every day! Sometimes we only hang out once a week, so how could it be possible that after so few moments spent together, he’s already become complacent?
- The flirtation is gone. Text messages are put to the back burner, sexting is nonexistent, and cute notes and compliments are now only given by me. Now my jokes are less funny, my random facts are less impressive, and my stories are less captivating. I still want to talk to him for the sake of talking to him, but now I’m apparently just being needy.
- Dates are unoriginal. At the beginning of the relationship, we were game for the coolest date ideas! He was always up for any crazy and creative idea I could come up with. Although I always had his help before in organizing and planning dates before, he now has no interest in putting in the effort. He’s happy to stay at home, watch a mediocre movie, and maybe have sex if the movie didn’t put us to sleep.
- He still gives me butterflies I just wish he felt the same. Believe it or not, I’m still madly crushing on my guy. He’s so handsome, so athletic, and I just love being near him. However, I’m feeling rushed to get over these feelings, which feels so dishonoring and sad. Is he not so lucky to be dating someone who still gets giddy at the sound of his voice?
- Seeing cute couples kills me. I literally feel pains in my heart when I see a couple kiss in the streets or when I witness my friend’s boyfriend give her a foot massage. I can hardly even watch romantic comedies anymore. Instead of being funny or cute, they’re just reminders that I’m not in that phase of my relationship even though I really want to be.
- He no longer tries to impress me. Every morning we woke up together I’d make us breakfast and he used to get up soon after and meet me in the kitchen to make us coffee. We were both showered, dressed well, and feeling excited to talk about our days. Now, he skips breakfast altogether, gets up last minute, looks unkempt, and I pour my own coffee. Sometimes your guy sleeping is cute, and sometimes it just looks lazy.
- Maybe he’s just not that into me. Trust me, I have this thought all the time. Perhaps it’s not that he left the honeymoon stage and is now in the “3 kids deep, 50 years later, shared mortgage” stage… maybe that initial excitement he felt for me was totally misguided and he doesn’t like me that much after all?
- He’s going to lose me. I know I said I’m madly in love with him and that’s true. However, after a few goes at dating, I know I deserve better. I’ve sold myself short before, put myself in relationships that didn’t serve me, and those would have all been pointless if I didn’t learn something. I’ve expressed to my boyfriend his lack of effort before but he hasn’t changed, so I think now it’s my turn to make a move.
