Everyone gets hurt in love at some point. I used to let that pain consume me, but I’ve learned that’s a huge waste. My life is too valuable and short to waste it mourning the death of something that wasn’t that great in the first place. Here’s how I’ve learned to deal with heartbreak in a productive way:
- I distract myself by keeping busy. In the initial days following a breakup, I’m usually so antsy that I get a ton of stuff done. All of the sudden, the most unappealing tasks seem like a welcome way to occupy my time and keep my mind off of my sadness. It makes life easier than sitting around moping.
- I take up new hobbies. A breakup is a great way to start doing things that I never had time for before. Suddenly I have hours I need to fill up, so I usually try something I’ve always wanted to do. I’ve found a lot of awesome new interests and creative outlets this way. It sure beats sitting on the couch crying and binge eating.
- I spend quality time with my friends. It’s tough while in a relationship to manage my time well and fit in everything I want to do. I like to think of a breakup as something positive because it frees up my time to spend with the people who are always there no matter what—my friends. I never take my support network for granted.
- I recommit myself to my work. Whether it’s renewed devotion to my passions or more time spent making money to pay my bills, it’s all important. When I’m single again, I have more time and focus to take care of myself and my needs. It boosts my confidence to work hard and see results roll in.
- I set new goals. It’s extremely difficult not to get sucked into co-dependent behavior, especially in a long relationship. When I’m single, I have no choice but to rely on myself. It’s greatly empowering. Suddenly the world really is my oyster and I decide what I want to do next without worrying about someone else’s agenda.
- I visit my family. It’s easy to make excuses not to travel to see family when I’m in a relationship, especially if I need to divide my time with my partner’s family as well. There simply isn’t enough money and time. Nothing feels better after a breakup than to be with my relatives and simply let myself exist. They expect nothing of me and I can truly recharge.
- I laugh. A lot. The best way I know how to get over heartbreak is to spend time with people who make me smile and engaging in activities I find joyful. If I’m left to my own devices I’m far more likely to feel sad, but if I have to be alone, I try to watch a funny movie or read a book that makes me chuckle. Laughter truly is medicine.
- I dance. I go out and I let loose! I don’t drink anymore but I’ve discovered that I’m even more comfortable and carefree when I dance sober. I have the confidence now to not give a damn what anyone thinks of me. It’s incredibly liberating and nothing raises my spirits like getting out there and sweating to good music.
- I sing. I’ve always loved singing, so I make sure to belt out my feelings when I’m sad. It helps me release a lot of emotion simply to sing along to whatever fits my mood. Going to karaoke with all my friends cheering me on feels even better! Nothing is more awesome than shocking everyone with my legit rap skills.
- I learn new things. There’s no more productive way to get my mind off my problems than by reading a book on a subject I’ve never explored or teaching myself to do something using internet resources. Not only does it keep me busy, I feel good about myself when I acquire knowledge. My newest goal is to teach myself Spanish!
- I revisit old interests. Post-breakup time is the best time to rediscover forgotten passions. If something fell by the wayside when I got involved with a guy, I take a second look to see if it’s still something I enjoy. More often than not it is. It’s a perfect opportunity to pick up old skills and hobbies and build on them.
- I get great sleep. This sounds silly but it’s so true! Once I’m over the sad insomnia portion of my grief, I sleep wonderfully. I’m no longer staying until all hours to make sure I get to spend time with my partner. I’m also not up at night worrying and fretting over a relationship that isn’t going well.
- I treat myself. I don’t spend money going out with a boyfriend anymore, so I can spend it however I like! I save more and I get to do fun things like go get massages or have a nice dinner with friends. I try not to spend a lot of money in my daily life, but it feels good to have it go exactly where I want it to go.
- I go on adventures. It’s much easier to adventure solo. I like doing what I want without anyone holding me back. I find myself in more of an exploratory mood when I’m on my own. I use the time to discover who I really am and to reflect on how my life is going. It’s healing and restorative.
- I grow and change every day. It’s easy to become lazy and stagnant in a relationship. Sometimes I spend so much time focusing on the partnership that I forget to keep growing as an independent human being. After a breakup, I always experience an accelerated period of improvement in my personal life that literally transforms me.
