I don’t care if you’re male, female, my oldest friend or my newest one — there’s one thing I just refuse to tolerate when it comes to my friendships, and that’s being regularly ditched for a significant other. I get that when you’re dating someone new, you have a different schedule with new commitments. It happens. But when you deliberately make plans with me only to break them last minute for your boyfriend/girlfriend, I start to draw the line.
- My time is valuable too. You act like canceling on me at the last minute has no effect on anyone else. Reality check: my time is just as important as yours. I could have been doing something productive with my day, but instead, I’m sitting here at the last minute scrambling for something else to do. It’s completely unacceptable.
- I won’t be someone’s second choice. I’m not the second choice for anybody, including your significant other. I totally get that a large portion of your time goes to him, but you seem to only call me when he’s busy, and I’m not okay with that. I refuse to be your backup plan. If you want to hang out with me, make it a priority. Otherwise, don’t bother.
- Friends will be around for you after your relationship, so you should treat them well. Who’s going to be there for you if (or when) you guys break up? Not me. If you’re treating me terribly while you’re in a relationship, don’t expect me to be your shoulder to cry on once you break up. That’s not how it works.
- It’s not about not having enough time — you’re just a terrible friend. I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again: people have time for what they make time for in their lives. If your excuse to me is that there’s not enough time, I’ll call out that BS from a mile away. Wake up earlier, stop going on Facebook, and stop procrastinating at work. You always have time for what’s important to you.
- You’re proving to me that I don’t mean that much to you. I don’t care how in love you are — the way you treat me when you’ve got a significant other says a lot about the kind of friend you are. If you’re always canceling on me, complaining you don’t have time, or not making an effort, then I’ll take that as a sign that you don’t care that much.
- Girls stick together. Boys are fun, but in the end, we all need our girls. It’s crucial that I have a girl gang I can trust with all my heart. I want to love, support, and encourage one another. If you can’t do that, then you’re not the right friend for me.
- If you don’t treat me right, I’ll find a friend that does. As much as it sucks to end a friendship, there are plenty of friend fish in the sea. If you can’t give me what I need out of friendship, then I’ll find someone who can.
- I’m done feeling bad about myself because you can’t get your priorities straight. As much as it feels like it is, I know this isn’t personal to me. You’re too caught up in your lovey-dovey, rainbows and unicorns world of love. And even though I know deep down that it isn’t about me, it still hurts. I’d rather not feel like crap every time you cancel on me and instead spend my time on people who make me feel good.
- I have stuff going on, and I want you to be there for it. I’ve got stuff going on too. I’m making moves in my career, I’ve got dating stories, and I want you to be there for it. I want you around just as much during the good times as I do in the bad.
- I deserve better. I’m the last person to give up on a friendship, but I also know when it’s time to walk away. I realize my worth (I’ve spent many heartbreaks figuring it out), so I know that I deserve better. If you aren’t a good friend to me, I’ll move on. And no, it’s not cut-throat; it’s self-love.
