Finding a fully functioning adult to date shouldn’t be a huge challenge, but sadly, it can seem nearly impossible sometimes. If you’re experiencing difficulty finding a guy who has his life together, here are a few things to keep in mind that will help you find what you’re looking for.
- Confidence is key. The only men who want to date quiet, passive women are the ones who aren’t secure in themselves and clearly don’t have their lives together. Men who are strong and emotionally healthy don’t want to date women who hide their worth and power. They’re attracted to women who know their own minds and are independent of their relationships. Let your confidence shine through, and he’ll think you’re irresistible.
- Don’t be afraid of coming on too strong. If he truly has his life together, he won’t be intimidated by a woman who knows what she wants. In fact, decisiveness will be a huge turn on. He’s made an effort to build the life he wants, and he’ll admire a woman with similar drive and determination.
- Play the long game. The kind of guy you’re looking for probably isn’t going to jump straight into a relationship. His life is set and comfortable, and bringing a new person into his routine will require deliberation and some emotional adjustment. Give him time to recognize how much he wants you in his life, and remember that when he decides to let you in, he isn’t taking it lightly.
- Don’t be discouraged if they’re not lining up to meet you. One of the reasons it’s difficult to find a guy with his life together is because men like this are satisfied already. They’re not out there looking for partners because they’ve built lives that make them content. But just because they’re not active in the dating scene doesn’t mean their lives won’t be enhanced by a relationship. Be patient, keep your eyes open, and don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and take a chance on one of them if you’re interested in them.
- Don’t bother with dating apps. Yes, some people use dating apps to find serious partners, but there’s a lot of leg work required to get anywhere if you’re looking for something real. A lot of the guys who have their lives on track won’t be wasting their time on casual dating sites to find partners. They’ll be on the lookout for women who catch their attention in the real world.
- Know your worth. It’s easy to compromise when you’re looking for a partner. You get tired of bad dates and settle for someone who isn’t ideal just to take a break from the dating scene. But men who are worth your time want to date women who know their value and don’t compromise it. Undervaluing yourself through the people you date is a self-fulfilling prophecy: the more you lower your standards, the less likely you are to find someone who is worthy of you.
- Enjoy your independence. If he has his life together, you’ll need to have yours together, too. He’ll have his own routines and value his alone time, and it’s important that you’re OK with operating your life independently to his as well. This doesn’t mean you have to lead completely separate lives, it just means you get to continue enjoying your alone time and not feel obligated to be tie every aspect of your lives together.
- Don’t mistake age for maturity. Just because a guy is over 30 doesn’t mean he’s an adult. Some 20-year-olds are more emotionally mature and functional than men twice their age. Don’t discount a guy just because he seems young. Give everyone the benefit of the doubt and don’t get too disappointed when the 36-year-old with kids turns out to be a child himself.
- Don’t feel like you have to be highly accomplished in order to be desirable. Tangible achievements aren’t everything. If he has a Ph.D. and you never finished undergrad, it doesn’t mean you’re less impressive than him. Maturity and worth have nothing to do with education or economic status. No matter how little you think you’ve accomplished in comparison, chances are, there’s a lot about you that he’ll find fascinating. Have confidence in who you are and don’t hide it from him. That’s the part that he’ll fall for.
- Be your most unique self. If you’re trying to attract a guy who already has his life figured out, you’re going to have to show him that you’re not just someone to fill the girlfriend role. If he feels like his life is already complete, it’s going to take someone special to convince him otherwise. Let him see who you really are and he’ll be mesmerized.
