Diving head-first into a new relationship can seem romantic because it might mean spending more time together and communicating more. However, moving things too fast can really ruin something that might have otherwise blossomed. Here are 10 signs you’re trying to rush things and need to slow down.
- You’re always oversharing. You’ve told them about multiple childhood traumas and your deepest fears. You’ve shared about the things that you share with only your closest friends. There’s nothing inherently wrong with oversharing, it just usually means you aren’t taking the time to build a connection. Instead, you’re forcing it with information that might be too sensitive for a new relationship.
- You have very few boundaries. You lack the ability to set proper boundaries. This is all about setting expectations for how others can treat you and holding the person accountable to abiding by them. When you’re in a fast-paced relationship with no boundaries, things can get sticky very quickly. It can mess everything up because you’ll be doing things based on what the other person wants rather than listening to your intuition.
- You’re pushing the exclusivity talk. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be exclusive, but if you’re pushing it on the third date, you know that you’re moving too quickly. The exclusivity talk should happen when you two have spent a little bit of time together and have decided you want to give the relationship a shot. It’s especially troublesome when you’re pushing it and the other person doesn’t want it.
- You sleep over their place all of the time. I know that new relationships are super exciting and it’s natural to want to spend a lot of time together. Still, staying over at their place a bunch of times a week though may actually ruin things before they have a chance. You may rush the relationship too much by acting like you’ve been together for longer than you have been.
- You have big plans for the future. You’re thinking way ahead, and maybe you’re even pondering what it’d be like to live together when you’ve only been dating for a few weeks. Your head is in the clouds, dreaming about what could be. Perhaps the other person doesn’t even know about your grand plans because you keep them to yourself. That’s probably a good thing since otherwise you might scare them away.
- You two are super physical. Hey, there’s nothing wrong with being physical. If you can do it and it works for you, then more power to you. However, most people don’t do well with jumping into bed quickly. It messes with their heads and their hormones. If you’re doing this, you likely feel like you’re head over heels for the person when in reality, you hardly know them. All that oxytocin tells you otherwise!
- You text all the damn time. Texting is great, but when you’re doing it day in and day out, you may get sick of each other. Maybe you can’t get enough of each other and you just want to be in constant communication. This runs the risk of you two getting sick of each other and ruining things too soon.
- You invite them to an event that’s months out. You’ve only been dating for a few weeks, but you talk to them about wanting them to come to a wedding with you months out. You don’t even know if you two like each other yet but you’re already planning in advance. This is sure to scare someone and if it doesn’t then the other person is moving too quickly as well!
- You’re obsessing about outcomes. You can’t stop thinking about outcomes and whether or not the relationship is going to work out. The obsession plagues your every step. You’re not enjoying the present moment because you’re too worried about things going the way you want them to go. This is a way to rush the relationship because you’re not just letting things unfold as they may.
- You say the L-word way too soon. Love drops like a bomb onto your brand new relationship. You’ve spit out the L-word when the reality is that you really don’t know the person all that well yet. You’re probably just caught up in the feelings from kissing or sleeping with them. Perhaps you mean it and it’s genuine, but it still might freak someone out if they aren’t ready!
