9 Things Having Guy Friends Teaches You About Dating

Girlfriends are great for dating advice, but sometimes you need to go behind enemy lines so to speak to get the real dirt on the male populations. Guy friends aren’t just a lot of fun, they’re pretty damn informative too because when you’re just one of the boys, you learn a lot about dating from the other side of the spectrum. Here are some things I’ve learned from my bros:

  1. Guys just want to have fun. The easiest way to lose a guy is to plague him with relationship drama. No guy wants to fight all the time, and you shouldn’t either. You’re not keeping things interesting, you’re making them stressful. Bottom line — pick and choose your battles. That doesn’t mean you can’t be serious when it’s important, but there’s something to be said for keeping things lighthearted.
  2. Men experience heartbreak too. So many guys want you to believe that they’re too strong to let a woman break their heart, but guess what! Those guys are liars. Guys fall just as hard as we do and when they really love a woman and then lose her, their hearts can shatter just as hard as ours. So just remember, men have baggage too. They may not show it as openly but it’s there.
  3. Guys obviously have feelings… they just don’t like to show them. It’s a stereotype that women are way more in touch with our feelings than guys are with theirs, but it’s pretty true nine times out of 10. That doesn’t mean guys don’t care or feel the same emotions we do, they’re just more afraid to show them because society has convinced them that it’ll make them look weak. Boys are taught from a young age that emotions just aren’t “manly.” It’s burned into their brains, but that doesn’t make it true, and the good ones will learn that eventually.
  4. Everyone has a fear of rejection. Sometimes guys don’t come up to you in a bar because they’re afraid you’ll reject them. You might think that if he were really interested he’d suck up the courage, but give the guy a break. You fear rejection just as much as he does, so if you’re judging him for being too scared to talk to you, put your money where your mouth is and just try making the first move. It’s not as easy as it seems, is it?
  5. Guys always cover for their friends. They excuse their friends’ BS behavior because it’s Guy Code 101. It’s in their DNA to cover and anyone who disobeys this unspoken rule is a snitch. They might not like the way their friend treats you but the chances of him saying something to your guy or you are slim to none. It’s not like they’re deliberately trying to be deceitful or crappy, it’s just their way of showing loyalty.
  6. Some guys really are just losers. They have no excuse for the way they act, they really are just douchebags. He has friends, but that’s because he doesn’t treat them the way he treats you. He’s not crappy in every sense — he’s just crappy towards women. That doesn’t make him a good person and that doesn’t make it okay but he can be a good friend, he’s just not boyfriend material.
  7. Guys are sometimes even more insecure than we are. The world seems to focus on female insecurity so much that it can be easy to forget that guys experience the same self-doubt we do. Men experience poor body image, inferiority complexes in regards to their masculinity and all the basic insecurities we feel on a daily basis. They just want to be good enough, even if it’s just good enough for us.
  8. Guys have a much easier time being single. Women have this societal pressure to settle down. If you’re a woman and you’re single, people assume there is something wrong with you. When you’re a guy, it’s a whole different world. Society has no beef with a single man because it’s “natural.” Women were meant to bear children and men were meant to spread their seed. It’s complete BS, but that’s why it’s easier for a guy to be single.
  9. Not every guy is a player. If a guy really loved us, then he hated hurting us. Guys who break a girl’s heart have a bad reputation, but not every guy is an jerk and the ones who aren’t really hate when women assume they’re all the same. Sure, some guys just want sex, but other guys are looking for love, and they just wish we could see that. If we don’t want guys to group all women in the same box, we have to stop doing it to them.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.
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