Women naturally have the so-called “nurturing” instinct, which is supposed to be a good thing. However, there are times when ou might go overboard in caring for your S.O. to the point that you start acting like his mother instead of his girlfriend. Here are surefire signs you’re crossing the line and need to back off.
- You nag him constantly about everything. Nagging him incessantly won’t get him to do what you want him to do — it’ll only make him feel more like he’s back living with his mom. If he’s genuinely slacking and not pulling his weight, have a mature conversation about it, but stop nagging him about the little things.
- He has a curfew when he’s out with his friends. While it’s important to spend quality time with your boyfriend, he also needs some time away from you to do his own thing (as do you). Expecting him to be home by 10 p.m. will remind him of having to get back in time for dinner as a kid, and that’s just not right.
- You’re always the one calling the shots. You wear the pants in the relationship. You’re the driver and he’s become the passenger who doesn’t have a say on where you’re headed. You control everything about him, from the way he dresses to what he should eat and how he should spend his money. Relationships are meant to be 50/50, and they need to be, especially if they’re going to last.
- He has no opinions on anything anymore. If your partner automatically says yes to everything that you suggest and doesn’t even challenge any of your commands anymore, he’s resigned. He’s lost his voice in the relationship and sooner than later, he may go MIA on you.
- He struggles to make decisions when you actually let him. When there are choices to be made, is it you who takes charge? If your boyfriend leaves you to decide alone and doesn’t even bother to tell you his thoughts, you should consider stepping down from your throne.
- You determine when and what he eats. While it’s really sweet to prepare a meal for someone you love, if you’re doing it as a way to control what he eats and when, there’s a problem. He’s a grown man who’s perfectly capable of deciding what he wants for dinner and preparing it himself. He doesn’t need you to do it.
- He relies on you for everything. He doesn’t make an effort to contribute to the relationship in any meaningful way but rather waits for your command before he moves. He also expects you to instruct him even with the littlest things like doing household chores (if you live under one roof), grocery shopping, and laundry. Simply put, he’s reverted to boyhood because “Mama knows best.”
- He seems to be working later and later…If he’s started going home late due to “work commitments,” chances are he’s sneaking some time with his buddies and doesn’t want to tell you. He knows it’s his only chance to do the things that he enjoys while avoiding confrontation with you.
- You personally feel that he’s more like your child than your partner. Pause for a moment and look at how you see your boyfriend. Do you see him as the guy you’ve always dreamed of exploring the world with, or does he seem more like the helpless child who needs your guidance and care in navigating this world? Your answer will tell you whether you’re acting like the girlfriend you should be or the overbearing mother he’s always avoided.
- He tells you. If it comes directly from his mouth, hear him out. Own up to your mistakes and work with him to restore your relationship. It’s never too late to start over, especially if your boyfriend shows that he’s willing to help you go back to your original role in his life: his girlfriend.
