It all started out so nice, didn’t it? You were into him, he was into you and for a while, everything was just PERFECT. It’s a fleeting moment that’s gone once you get into a real relationship, which is not always Lucky Charms marshmallows and caramel lattes. In fact, a REAL relationship can be tiring to maintain – but when love is there, it’s totally worth it.
What if your love isn’t there anymore? How do you know you’re still in the relationship for love and not just obligation? Here are 10 signs it might be time to call it quits.
- You’re constantly checking up on him. Do you check his phone when he’s not looking? Are you needling him with questions about where he is and who he’s with when he’s not with you? If you think that there’s a possibility that he might cheat on you on a regular basis, that’s a trait you see in him either because he’s cheated before, he’s a nonstop flirt or you have issues with trust because of past relationships. If your relationship is a constant game of waiting for the shoe to drop on his monogamy, then it’s headed for doom. Figure out what’s triggering your mistrust, and either fix it or get out.
- Little things are starting to annoy you. At the beginning of a relationship, passion makes you drunk with glee and causes you to be very annoying to your friends because you just can’t stop gushing about your new man. But eventually, you calm down and your significant other becomes just another human being with bad habits and faults like the rest of us. If you still love and care about him despite all this, then you’re on the right track. However, if you find yourself becoming increasingly annoyed by their every day behavior, (the way he talks, the way he eats, the way he breathes) then it’s probably time to reassess your relationship and figure out if this is the person you want to be with.
- You’d feel guilty ending the relationship. Your parents like him, your friends like him, people at work like him, EVERYONE likes him. Except you. Breaking up with someone who doesn’t have obvious horns coming out of his head is hard, because it seems like leaving just because you’re not happy isn’t a good enough reason to break up with someone who’s generally sweet and nice. So you stay because of guilt, not love. What could go wrong? Everything. If there’s no love, no matter how good you think you’re faking it, he’ll know eventually. You’ll end up resenting him and the relationship, and you may even start to have a wandering eye. Before you do anything stupid, do what your heart tells you and don’t stay if you can’t reciprocate his love.
- You can’t remember the last time you got turned on. Are your kisses cold and robotic? When was the last time you’ve playfully flirted with each other? Do you remember the last time you wanted to initiate sex? Do you feel like the passion is gone? This can happen in long term relationships, but the difference between someone who’s in love and someone who isn’t is the desire to regain that passion. If you are pretty indifferent about trying, then it’s time to break up and find someone else you’re passionate about.
- It’s difficult to feel invested anymore. When your boyfriend tells you about his raise or whatever happy news he has about their day, do you find yourself feigning enthusiasm or worse, are you not even trying to show you care as you grunt in their direction.? If this sounds familiar to you, then that’s a huge sign that you’re over the relationship and you’re over him. When seeing their happiness doesn’t make you happy anymore, or you tune him out when he tells you about his day, it’s time to cash in and move on.
- You find yourself flirting with other guys. Flirting while you’re in a relationship means you’re bored, you need attention or there’s something lacking in your current relationship that you’re looking to fulfill by coming on to other people. If you have any or all of these feelings and you don’t address them with your partner, then all your flirting could possibly lead to infidelity. If you find yourself in major flirt mode with every good looking person who looks your way, take note and break up it off immediately.
- You wonder what your life would be like without him. It’s normal for couples to fantasize about someone else once in a while. But for the most part, picturing yourself with other people is a fleeting thought, usually reserved for when you’re um… having intimacy with yourself. However, if you find yourself fantasizing about the IT guy every time he walks by and wonder what it’d be like if he checked out your ‘USB port’, it shows you’re not satisfied in your current relationship.
- You’ve stopped spending quality time together. When you’re a couple, you don’t have to do everything together, all the time. In fact, going and having some alone time is actually beneficial to a relationship. However, if prefer your alone time and are constantly looking for excuses to have more of it (i.e. a girls trip to Vegas, planning vacations and outings without them) then it’s probably because you don’t find them enjoyable to be around anymore. Liking the other person in your relationship is a pretty important and if you wouldn’t hang out with him as a friend, then why are you letting him in your bed?
- You’ve lost respect for him. No one knows the secret to a great relationship, but the one thing you see time and time again with relationships that have made the distance is mutual respect for one another and a little awe. When the person you love is proud of your accomplishments and who you are as a person, it’s an amazing feeling that you want to reciprocate to them. If you don’t respect the person you’re with, or their behavior causes you to lose respect for them, then it’s time to cut ties and find someone who you can respect and be inspired by.
