If you’ve never heard of ‘love bombing’ before, you definitely need to learn about it. Love bombing is a tactic that manipulative people use to win over their partners in the beginning stages of their relationship. Everything seems like it’s perfect, almost too good to be true, and once they’re certain that they’ve earned your loyalty and trust, a switch flips and they start to change. Here are some signs that you’re being love bombed that you definitely need to look out for.
- They overwhelm you in the beginning. We all dream of finding our Prince Charming or that perfect mate that will woo and romance us at the beginning. Some people really are one in a million and will shower you with love and attention just because they love you and want to show that to you. However, it’s not always as genuine as you might think it is. If you meet someone and right off the bat it seems they are going above and beyond to impress and win you over with gifts and grand gestures, make sure you don’t let your guard down too soon. It could be the real deal, but it also could be love bombing.
- They show early signs of jealousy. Jealousy and a controlling or possessive nature are common traits of a love bomber. They might just seem to be very attentive and doting partners at the beginning, always wanting to be around you and check in on you, but if you start to notice concerning behavior such as an attempt to keep constant tabs on you or if they tell you that they don’t want you going certain places or seeing certain people, it could be a sign that all the attention they were giving you at the beginning was just a love bomb tactic.
- They compliment you while hurting your self-esteem. Another sign of love bombing is when your partner seems to always be showering you with excessive compliments, telling you how amazing and perfect you are while subtly attempting to make sure your confidence stays low. Be on the lookout for underhanded compliments such as, “You are so beautiful. I wish the rest of the world saw you the way I do,” or, “I think you’re brilliant and amazing and if no one else agrees, who cares? You’ll always have me.” This is a sneaky way that your partner will make you feel loved by them but also keep you feeling inadequate by implying that the rest of the world doesn’t see your worth.
- They attempt to keep you reliant on them. Partners who love bomb always try to remain in power in the relationship by making sure that their partner relies on them for everything. If you find that your partner makes every attempt they can to ensure that you depend on them, keep your eyes open because they could be love-bombing you. If they encourage you to do things like spend your savings or quit your job, it could be an attempt to make sure that you’re financially dependent on them to survive. They’ll most likely try to disguise it by saying that they don’t want you to have to worry about providing or that you deserve to spend your money on things for yourself but in reality, they may be just trying to eliminate your resources.
- They dismiss your opinions. If your partner seemed to really value your opinions and what you had to say at the beginning but now seems to dismiss them by patronizing you or making you feel like what you’re saying is ridiculous or uneducated, this could be a big sign that you’ve been love-bombed. We all want to feel appreciated and respected in our relationships so when you start seeing someone who makes you feel like what you have to say is smart and interesting, you’re more likely to fall for them. Once they have your trust, they could flip and start to make you feel as if everything you have to say doesn’t matter.
- They treat you like you’re indebted to them. At the beginning of a love-bombing situation, your partner will most likely bombard you with gifts and favors. Not only will they buy you things but they might even go so far as to start paying bills for you or helping you get out of debt. It doesn’t just stop at finances either, they could do things like help your family with things and your friends, earning the trust of your loved ones too. If they start to make you feel as if everything he’s ever given to you or done for you are things that you have to “pay them back for” in some way or another, it’s a definite bad sign. Relationships aren’t about keeping a scoresheet of who owes who what. It’s okay to split the share of finances and responsibilities but the moment your partner starts to make you feel like you have a debt to them, it’s not a good situation.
- They attempt to whisk you away from everyone. Isolation is another big sign of love-bombing. If you start dating someone and they seem to always want to steal you away and take you off on trips and adventures, it could definitely be because they’re smitten with you and want to make memories but it could also be an attempt to constantly isolate you from your friends, family, and anyone who could possibly catch on to their love-bombing tactics. If you notice that as your relationship progresses, your partner makes every attempt they can to take you away from everyone else and keep you isolated with them, it’s a definite sign of control but also could be a sign of love-bombing.
- They attempt to mask abuse with passion. If your partner ever physically, verbally, or emotionally abuses you, there is absolutely no excuse whatsoever and you need to remove yourself from that situation immediately. Something that a partner who love-bombs tends to do is to always follow any act of abuse with massive apologies and an attempt to excuse it by claiming that it’s only because they love you so much. They will most likely spin the situation around, making more excuses for their behavior and in turn, making you feel as if you’re responsible for their abuse, it’s a total love-bomb scenario and you need to leave them right away.
