Are there really that many fish in the sea? What if this guy is your soulmate and you pass him by because your standards are too high? So many of us have wondered these things at some point in our lives. And even though it’s normal to think about them and keep your expectations realistic, you should never ever lower your standards for a guy. Here are the top 8 reasons why you should stick to your guns when it comes to what you expect from romantic partners.
- Standards help you keep the losers away. Of course, you don’t want to focus on finding the perfect man because newsflash: nobody is perfect. However, there’s a difference between expectations and standards. Expectations might include: the guy looks like Chris Hemsworth, is a millionaire, is amazing in bed, and can speak at least six languages fluently. Obviously, that kind of man will be really hard to find. Standards are a little more basic. Your standards should focus on the man’s personality and character. Is he a liar? Does he act violent when he gets angry? Does he sleep around? These are traits that your standards should not allow. Set standards for men who are kind, loyal, honest, and loving.
- There’s no need to rush. Sometimes it might feel like the clock is ticking, and you have to settle for someone because if you don’t find a partner right now, you’ll be alone forever. Not true. There’s no need to rush into a relationship. Keep your standards and expectations separate and remember that it’s okay to adjust your expectations, but never lower your standards. Love can take a while. It’s not a race, and if you try to rush things, you could get stuck with someone who’s not a good fit for you. So take your time and search for a guy that meets your basic standards like kindness and loyalty.
- Good men are still out there. When you get bogged down in the dating games, you might think that all the decent guys are already taken. However, you’re probably just looking in the wrong place. If you keep finding sketchy guys on Tumblr, or any other dating app, try meeting people in real life for a change. Or vise versa. Don’t give up– good guys are still out there. If you have a history of attracting less-than-ideal men, take a break and try to figure out why you haven’t met anyone who meets your standards. Never settle for someone who doesn’t have a good heart. It could keep you from meeting the proverbial “Mr. Right.”
- Lowering your standards can make you end up with someone toxic. Remember, standards and expectations are different. You can lower your expectations, sure, but never lower your standards. If you lower your standards for a guy, chances are, you’re setting yourself up for a toxic relationship. He could be a toxic person, or you two just aren’t a good match. Either way, if you lower your standards, you should already know that something isn’t right. When you accept personality traits that you don’t like, the relationship will not last. So keep your standards high enough to repel the losers.
- Standards show that you deserve to be treated with respect. There is a balancing act to your dating standards. You want them to be high enough to attract the right man, but not impossible. The fact that you have standards at all is a great way to help you attract the right person. By being a little bit picky, you’ll eliminate a lot of the trash and get straight to dating guys who are serious. Don’t let anyone try to lower your standards for you.
- It’s okay to know what you want in a man. A lot of times, people might get frustrated by your standards and say, “you’re just being picky.” However, it’s okay to know what you want in a man, especially when it comes to his character. Just like some people have a “type” when it comes to physical appearance, you can have preferences when it comes to character and personality traits. If you don’t want to date a liar, stand up for yourself and your standards. It’s okay to know what you want! In the long run, these standards will help you find the right guy.
- You don’t want to be treated like crap. Once you start lowering your standards, it becomes a lot harder to draw the line. Since you already excused one bad behavior, why would you say no to his other actions? Setting low standards (or no standards) can set you on a slippery slope of accepting everything he does. Sooner or later, he’ll start treating you like crap. He might ditch you and your date night plans, then a few days later, he gets angry and shouts at you. Sometimes, these kinds of relationships where you never set your standards can spiral into domestic violence, abuse, and even sexual assault. So if you see behavior that you don’t like, say no. Put your foot down and stand up for yourself.
- What if it turns into a long-term relationship? Three years from now, do you want to look back and realize that you and your partner are not compatible at all? What happens if you look up and now you’ve been married for ten years with a child? Don’t assume you’ll be able to change people. In five years or ten years, will you regret settling for this man? The answer is yes. Yes, you will. If you ignore things about his character early on in the dating stage, those same things will become a huge issue for your relationship later on. You won’t feel close with him, and you won’t feel like you’re able to fully trust him. Not a good sign. Set your standards early and keep them high.
