Being single feels like being in a corn maze sometimes. It seems like you may find someone perfect just around that next bend, but then it’s just another dead end. It’s even worse if you actually do find someone around that bend, but he couldn’t be more wrong for you. It gets frustrating and defeating, and at a certain point, you just want to give up.
Well, giving up is one option, but it’s not the best option if you ever want to fulfill your goals. Most likely, Mr. Right isn’t going to knock on your door, so that means you have to make yourself look presentable and actually leave the house. Where should you go? Here are a few options and why they’re more likely to generate success than the stereotyped “single hookup spots.”
- Go see some lesser-known live music acts. Well-known artists charge a lot for tickets to their shows, but the up-and-coming ones usually perform for free or a minimal cover charge. While these shows do typically take place at bars, which are douchebag havens, there’s always the chance that an actual nice guy stopped by specifically for the music and is waiting in the crowd to meet someone just like you. Order a cocktail and enjoy the show, but keep your douche radar on just in case a player steps in attempting to ruin your evening with his juvenile shenanigans.
- Wander around the farmers’ market. Farmers’ markets are awesome. They have fresh fruits and vegetables that are usually less expensive than the supermarket, stands where you can buy the freshest meat, and usually an area where you can get some lemonade and a snack as well. If it’s near the holidays, it’s also a terrific place to get a Christmas tree. You’re going to love it there anyway, but wouldn’t it be the most awesome bonus if you met a cute farmer or random dude who cooks?
- Check out the local arcade. No, it’s not 1985, but arcades never ceased to exist or to be cool. If there’s a dude there trying for the high score on the old school Pac Man machine, he must be pretty unique. Go make it a friendly competition; loser buys the first round of drinks. Either way, you win.
- Walk around in the park. The park is a great place to go when it’s nice out. Bonus points if you have a dog to walk, because dog owners naturally connect via their canine companions. Dogs are sociable even when we’re not, so you may end up thanking Fido for his help down the road.
- Go to a restaurant opening. When a new restaurant is just opening its doors, sometimes they have an opening night dinner where you can try their food for free. You can get an invite if you chat with the owner briefly and welcome him/her to the neighborhood. They’ll be looking to market to the locals, and you never know who else might be there (ahem, cute foodies).
- If it’s allowed, go ahead and mix business and pleasure. Yes, you’re required to go to work anyway, but that’s just another reason you can’t discount work as a place to potentially meet someone special. We spend so many hours with our coworkers, and, in certain industries, we also meet new customers/clients/vendors every single day. If you click with someone in the office, you’re both single, and there are no rules against seeing them outside of work, why not give it a shot? Your pajamas and Netflix won’t get lonely if you abandon them briefly to go on a date.
- Go to a kava bar. Kava bars are popping up all over the United States, and there’s a good reason for that. Kava bars don’t serve alcohol, so they don’t attract the same type of douchebag clientele as regular bars. Kava is a root crop that comes from the islands of the Pacific, and it has a unique euphoric effect when you drink it in tea form, making you more relaxed, talkative, and open-minded; it also has numerous health benefits. Any guy who is hanging out in such a spot is likely to be a good catch.
It can be really exhausting to keep putting ourselves out there, time and time again, but it’s a necessary evil that will be worth it when you meet The One. However, you can stop sticking to your normal routine and hoping to meet people at lousy places like the gym or Whole Foods, and try delving into some less mainstream scenes to meet unique people. After all, it’s our strange mainstream society with its noncommittal norms that’s making dating so difficult in the first place. It makes sense that you may find more success if you seek out people who don’t follow the crowd.
