7 Things Guys Who are Liars, Players, or Generally Full of It Don’t Understand

  1. Commitment is hot. For most women, there’s nothing hotter than a guy who wants to commit and do the work required to build something real with us. That’s hot. What’s not hot? The sorry losers who pretend to be something they’re not just so they can get into our panties. Sure, you may be cute and fun for a minute but that’ll eventually get old — unless you can bring something else, like a deep connection built on love, trust, and reliability, we’re not interested.
  2. You’re not special. It’s pretty easy to get our attention if you’re trying to charm us — but could you hold that attention for weeks, months, or years? Do you even know how to share yourself with someone in a way that’s emotionally fulfilling to you and them? It’s not easy — like commitment, it takes work to build intimacy and to blend two lives together… But it’s worth it. And if that’s not something you value, or something you’re trying to learn, or what you’re looking for, you’re boring. You’re a boy, not a man, and while you may think you’re God’s gift, you’re not. You’re just one of millions of guys out there who hasn’t yet grown up.
  3. You’re actually just a douchebag. One definition of “douchebag” in a relationship is someone who does what they need to do to get their own needs fulfilled without regard for the other’s person’s satisfaction. Yes, that’s you and in case you think you’re amazing, you should know that no woman out there wants to be with you. In fact, we’re all trying really, really, really hard to spot you in a bar so we can stay the hell away from you.
  4. Your value system is broken. Casual sex among consenting adults is perfectly fine and it’s totally okay to not be interested in something serious while you sow your wild oats. What’s not okay? Leading a girl on just so you can keep sleeping with her or seeing multiple women who don’t know about each other or just generally running around town being sweet and acting like you’re a dateable guy when you’re really just looking for girls to sleep with. If that’s you, you need to have a serious conversation with yourself about who you are.
  5. Sex is NOT an accomplishment. Getting someone to sleep with you when you’re pretending to be a better person than you are is not that hard. If your sense of pride comes from how many girls you’re able to sleep with as you manipulate your way into their beds, you’re an idiot, not to mention pathetic. You really should find more meaningful challenges for yourself.
  6. Karma’s a bitch. You’ll probably eventually meet a woman who makes you want to settle down and behave. But after years of NOT practicing how to be in a mutually satisfying relationship, there’s a good chance you won’t know what to do and will just mess it up. Oh well.
  7. There’s nothing sexier than a good man. Like we said above, women love men who can commit. That’s because we just love GOOD men — we may enjoy the distraction of an occasional bad boy but, at the end of the day, we want a guy we can lean on and who leans on us, a guy who wants to make us happy and appreciates what we do for him, a guy we can trust to be honest and reliable and responsible. If that’s not you, please, please, please, for the love of God, go away.
Halle Kaye is the author of the insightful, inspirational and hilarious dating guide for women, "Maybe He's Just an Asshole: Ditch Denial, Embrace Your Worth, and Find True Love!"
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