You might write your disastrous dating life off as bad luck, but there could be actual reasons you’re not meeting anyone worthwhile. While it’s important to have boundaries and standards, there could be some “rules” you’re adhering to that just don’t make sense. Here are some ways you might be keeping love out of your life.
- You won’t date him if he’s not the “right” height. Maybe you only like really tall guys or you’re into shorter dudes. The bottom line is that if you’re dismissing someone immediately for this superficial reason, you might be missing out. You’re both the same size lying down anyway, right?
- You don’t think his job is suitable. For whatever reason, you judge what he does. Unless it’s something really terrible or somehow against your beliefs, maybe get to know the guy first – and hey, at least he has a job!
- You think his style is boring. This is one of the dumbest reasons not to date a dude and yet a lot of women treat it like a huge priority. His style doesn’t say anything about who he is as a person – and it can be improved with some friendly guidance.
- You’re grossed out by his sketchy background. Everyone makes mistakes. So he used to smoke weed or he spent the night in jail once for public intoxication – so what? If it’s something worse, of course, be careful, but don’t rule him out based on small digressions.
- You can’t stand his lack of communication via text. Look, most guys don’t like to text. They don’t think like women, or communicate like us – and that’s okay. As long as he’s showing up and staying present when he’s with you, you shouldn’t worry.
- You don’t like his hair – or lack thereof. If a guy is bald or losing his hair, it’s not like he can help it. Do you like being judged for physical attributes you can’t help? Don’t write someone off based on something superficial he literally can’t do anything to change.
- You don’t like his car. If you’re so materialistic as to write someone off because his vehicle isn’t “good” enough, you have bigger problems. Yes, if he cares TOO much about his car, that can be a turn-off, but don’t make fun of a guy just because he doesn’t spend his money on what he drives.
- You’re not a fan of his family. Yes, it can be a pain in the butt to date someone with crappy relatives – but the man didn’t pick his family. It’s not his fault. You can definitely observe their dynamic and see how it has shaped him and his personality, but don’t refuse to go out with him based on that.
- You think he’s too religious – or not religious enough. Yes, religion is a big issue. On the other hand, plenty of people fall in love and make it work. You might change. He might change. At least give it a try, especially if that’s the biggest issue at hand.
- You find his interests nerdy or boring. Guess what – the two of you don’t have to like all the same things. If you have the important stuff in common, the rest of it is just what makes you separate individuals. Get to know the man underneath it all first.
- You get annoyed because he’s not suave. The smooth talkers are the ones you need to worry about! Stick it out with the quiet, shy ones and let them get comfortable – you might be surprised at what a great guy is hiding behind the nerves and anxiety.
- You demand that a guy remember every little thing. This is, quite honestly, impossible and unrealistic. No human is capable of doing this, and there are more important issues in life. Let him off the hook and look at the bigger picture instead.
- You don’t trust him when he wants to keep some independence. No good relationship was ever founded in a chokehold. It’s healthy to maintain autonomy and separate lives – it’s actually a red flag when a guy wants your entire life to revolve around him.
- You think his lack of aggression means he doesn’t like you. Again, look past the “typical” behavior you expect and decide what’s up based on the specific individual. Not all guys are comfortable making the first move. Don’t dismiss him for it.
- You don’t see him that way because he’s your friend. Friends often turn into the best relationships – you already know them, trust them, and care about them. You and he have common interests and get along, and that’s important. Give him a chance.
- You think he lives too far away to make it work. This is such a stupid reason to pass on someone before you even try. Okay, fine, maybe it ends up being a problem – it won’t take long to figure that out. If you like each other enough, you’ll make the effort.
- You don’t agree with him on certain things. You might think you want to date a clone of yourself, but you really don’t. It’s way more important that the two of you are able to engage in healthy discussion than that you have all the same opinions. Debate and conversation keep it interesting!
- You don’t find him to be “manly” enough. Defining people this way is so outdated. Yeah, he might not be burly and typically macho, but that sounds boring anyway. Every person is different – look beyond the image of what you think you should date and you might find the guy you actually want.
