When you’re a woman who is just a little bit chubby, people think it’s okay to talk about your weight because “you’re not actually fat,” like there’s any logic in that concept. They seem pretty confused by the fact that you won’t just lose a few pounds and magically transform into a better, happier version of yourself. If you’ve had those last few pounds hanging around for a while and have no plans of getting rid of them (and why should you?), you’ll probably relate to these 16 comments chubby girls are so sick of hearing.
- “You’d be so pretty if you lost 10 pounds.” Um, okay, I was actually feeling kinda pretty how I am now, thanks.
- “Are you sure you want to eat that?” I was sure when I ordered it 15 minutes ago, and yup, still sure now. I don’t need to constantly be on a restrictive diet until I have no fat left on my body.
- “X celebrity looks great after trying the latest fad diet. Do you want to hear about it?” I guess I could hear about it, if you’re into talking about it, but I won’t be taking notes or making a new weight loss game plan. And now I’m slightly concerned for said celebrity’s well-being. I hope the pressures of Hollywood aren’t getting to her.
- “You’re not allowed to complain about your body — you’re not even fat.” Actually, all women are allowed to both complain and feel good about their bodies. Chubby girls are generally the only ones who are told they aren’t supposed to, however.
- “Do you wear Spanx?” Own? Yes. Wear? No. Still saving them for an occasion where looking two pounds lighter is more important than breathing effectively.
- “Do you know how many empty calories are in alcohol?” Uh, yeah — do you know how delicious it is?
- “You’re really brave for wearing a bikini.” Cool, now I totally don’t feel self-conscious at the beach. And how is this brave? Weren’t you just telling me I couldn’t have any negative feelings about my body because I’m not actually overweight?
- “Do you want any of old clothes before I give them to Goodwill?” I’m happy that you made your weight loss goals but no, I don’t want your jeans from three years ago. They make trendy clothes for the non-skinny girls now, ya know. Also, you might want to hold onto those just in case your crash diet wasn’t actually a permanent solution.
- “Yeah, she has tits and ass, but it’s all just fat.” Don’t be jelly of the jelly.
- “Is black, like, your favorite color?” Maybe, but not for whatever BS slimming effect your hinting at that I must love so much.
- “Why do you girls think it’s OK to skinny shame?” 1. I was never appointed head spokesperson of all the slightly chubby girls and therefore cannot really speak for everyone, 2. There was no secret meeting where we all got together and discussed the OK-ness of skinny shaming, and 3. I actually don’t think anyone should be shamed for their body type.
- “So and so called you fat behind your back, but I told them you totally aren’t fat.” Well, that never would have hurt my feelings if you hadn’t told me. Thanks, frenemy.
- “It must be nice not to have to work out or watch what you eat.” I actually do both of these things as a normal, healthy, functioning person. Do you really think everyone who isn’t teeny tiny is just lounging around all day eating tacos and Oreos?
- “Have you ever thought about lipo?” Like most women who have been forced to obsess about their bodies since childhood, yes, of course I’ve thought about it. In an abstract, hypothetical, ‘maybe if I won the lottery I don’t even play kind’ of way. But I have better things to invest my money in and I don’t remember granting you permission to ask me invasive medical questions.
- “Guys like more cushion for the pushin’, anyway.” Gross. Don’t tell me what you think guys like to do with my cushion.
- “You just don’t understand the pressure of needing to stay skinny.” Yup, as someone who’s never had the glorious skinny status, I cannot possibly understand how soul-crushing it would be to lose it. Maybe next you can tell me how difficult it is to be more rich and popular than I am.
Things to keep in mind if you date chubby girls
Some of the sentences above are literally things that guys I’ve been dating have told me. (I wish I was kidding). If you’re someone who claims to like chubby girls, or who “doesn’t care about weight,” please keep this in mind if you’re going to date me (or any other woman with a bit more meat on her bones).
- Be respectful. Treat me with respect and dignity, just as you would any other person. It’s really not that hard. Don’t make any snide comments about my weight or say anything that might be demeaning or insulting. I’m happy in my own skin, but I do have feelings and you can hurt them.
- Avoid making assumptions. Don’t assume that I’m unhappy about my body or that I’m trying to lose weight. Many chubby girls are confident and comfortable with their bodies. I am! The idea that every girl who’s not a size 0 must hate herself and want to change is so wrong.
- Drop the body-shaming BS. Unfortunately, chubby people are often subjected to body shaming and negative comments. As a partner, it’s important to be aware of this and stand up against it. If someone insults me or says something about my weight, stand up for me. I don’t care if it’s your friends or family members saying it. If you’re proud to be with me, act like it.
- Don’t make it all about my body. Remember that I’m more than just my body. Chubby girls don’t base our entire identities on the size clothes we wear. Take an interest in my hobbies, passions, and goals, and treat me as a whole person. I’m not here to be fetishized and in fact, I think it’s kinda gross.
- Just because I’m cool with how I look doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be empathetic. Chubby girls face certain challenges that thinner people do not. Sometimes clothes don’t fit us as well and we get annoyed about it. Other times, people treat us like crap or assume we’re unhealthy/unfit because we weigh more. I don’t need you to placate me, by any means. However, you should be empathetic to some of the struggles I face.
- Don’t pressure me to change. My body is my own, and I should be allowed to make my own decisions about my health and lifestyle. Don’t pressure me to change my body by suggesting I lose weight. I don’t need you to offer to be my gym buddy or to go running with me. I see through your hints and they annoy me.
- Be supportive. This should be a no-brainer. Be there for me emotionally. Support my goals and dreams, and treat me with kindness and respect. You know, just like you would with any other girl you’re dating. Love me as much as I love myself and we’ll get along just fine.
