Who knew flirting was so easy that you don’t even have to do anything to make a guy think you’re into him? I’ll admit, sometimes it’s hard to tell when a guy’s flirting or being nice, but it’s usually easy to figure out when he starts flirting back. Some guys just don’t get the hint when you tell them you’re not interested, and somehow it’s all your fault when you do any of these simple things guys mistake for flirting:
- Polite smiles. You’re walking by or standing in and just politely smile. You’re just being nice. It’s not like you’re giving him your sexy, come hither smile. Next thing you know, he’s smiling back and coming your way.
- A simple “hi.” Why does saying “hi” to someone mean you’re interested? You say hello to people all day. You should really make an effort to stop flirting with so many different people every day. How could you lead a guy on like that?
- Asking for help. You just wanted that tall guy to help you reach something on the top shelf at the grocery store. Now he thinks you’re in to him. Did you miss something? You walk away and he’s still trying to get your number. If only your arms were longer you could avoid this mess.
- Blinking dirt out of your eye. Didn’t you know it’s Cupid’s way of bringing two strangers together? That evil little cherub blows dirt in your eye, you start blinking and guys mistake it for winking. Ta-da! Love at first blink?
- Waving to a friend behind him. Obviously, this is completely your friend’s fault for standing behind someone and not immediately noticing you. Still, that innocent wave is so friendly and encouraging. How could he possibly think it was meant for someone else as you completely ignore him the rest of the night?
- Walking by in tight jeans. How dare women wear tight jeans? You do realize that’s a sign that you want a guy’s attention, right? No? Well, he doesn’t understand that. Walk like a normal person in fitted jeans and he’ll think for certain you’re flirting, even though you’ve walked by a hundred other guys during the day.
- Having a basic conversation. Apparently, you only have conversations if you’re interested in sleeping with someone. At least when you’re talking to guys. It couldn’t have anything to do with you being nice or just striking up a new friendship. Nope, it has to be flirting.
- Hanging out as friends. Women don’t have guy friends. That’s just crazy. If you’re hanging out and someone brings along a new guy, he’s sure every word and hair flip is all for him. After all, men and women can’t just be friends. And women don’t have jobs. Yeah, old fashioned thinking works every time.
- Talking to him one on one. OK, so he might have ignored your advances in a group, but the moment it’s one on one, you have to be flirting. There’s no other reason you’d want this private time with him. It couldn’t have anything to do with a shared interest or planning something fun for a mutual friend.
- Accidentally bumping into them. Those damn tiny paths through crowded restaurants are a recipe for disaster. You’re supposed to be able to maneuver like a pro, so when you bump that one guy whose chair’s out too far, you’re obviously interested. Why else would you do it?
- Laughing at a joke. Laughter is the way to a woman’s heart, or at least that’s what guys think. Keep your laughter in check or he might just think you’re completely in love with him. It’s not like you ever laugh at anything else.
- Making eye contact. It’s the go to flirting technique for beginners. All you do is look at a guy and he’ll magically know you want him. Too bad you have to look up once in a while and accidentally make eye contact with guys you’re not interested in. Maybe wearing dark sunglasses indoors would help?
- Saying “nice to meet you.” If you didn’t want to date him, you’d obviously tell him to GTFO or to never waste your time again. It’s not like you have manners and politely say this to new people you’re introduced to. Nope, you’re definitely ready to be his one and only.
- Giving a compliment. Compliments are powerful things and it’s easy to mistake them for flirting. It’s best to just be a bitch and not feed his ego. Otherwise, telling him he’s got a nice phone could just lead to a first date the next night.
- Saying “thank you.” You’re so happy he noticed you that you can’t help but be grateful. It doesn’t matter what happened between him noticing you and you saying “thank you.” In his mind, you walked up, he said “hi” and you said “thank you.” Weird, but when you’re trying to make everything into flirting, it makes sense.
