It’s just a fact of 2017: texting is a huge part of relating to other people. The same goes for romantic relationships. You and your partner do tons of communicating via texting, so here are some habits you can add or get rid of to strengthen your relationship.
- Send good morning texts. This isn’t a mandatory habit for a happy relationship, but it sure helps. Sending good morning texts lets your partner know that you’re thinking about them as you’re starting your day. It’s like a bonus for them. You can both send good morning texts whenever you think of it.
- Actually say bye/goodnight when the conversation is over. There are many ways to sign off and one is to do it at the end of the night before bed. Otherwise, one of you would send a text and be waiting for a response not knowing that the other one’s in bed. You can also sign off when you’re about to spend time with friends or you need to get back to work. The idea is just to communicate that you’re going to be busy with your partner so that they know what’s going on.
- Save fighting for when you’re face-to-face. Whenever you find that a fight is bubbling below the surface, it’s important that you both agree to hit the pause button and resume later. It’s not that you can’t have the fight, it just needs to be in person, otherwise, there’s tons of room for things to be misconstrued. No text fighting.
- Establish healthy boundaries. Maybe you go to a certain commitment every week and you’ve decided that it’s not appropriate to text there. It’s great to communicate this to your partner so they know you’ll be busy at a certain time. It may sound like common sense, but many couples have no boundaries and they’ll just text regardless of what’s going on. Having healthy boundaries will only be good for the two of you in the long run.
- Speak up about your needs. Maybe you have specific needs around texting that’ll make things easier for you. For example, you know that read receipts drive you nuts because you end up thinking you’re being ignored. Just ask your partner to turn off read receipts and voila—you have one less thing to stress about.
- Don’t spiral out of control by overthinking/overanalyzing. It’s so easy to read far into a text message. As “what do they mean?” runs through your mind, your wheels are spinning. Overthinking can drive you mad. Do yourself and your partner a favor and hit the brakes on overthinking. It’s not helping matters at all.
- Avoid sarcasm because sometimes it really doesn’t read well. Trying to say something with a sarcastic tone is only going to come off as confusing to your partner because there’s no way to read tone via texts. Save both of you some trouble by just saying what you mean and meaning what you say.
- Give spontaneous compliments. Who doesn’t love validation? Texting your lover a genuine compliment on something special about them is sure to plaster a smile on their face. It’ll also be a reminder of what you love about your partner. Only positive things can come from more compliments in your life.
- Say thank you. We could always say the words “thank you” more than we do. How cool would it be if you amped up how much you said it? You could even use some positive psychology. For example, your partner took out the trash this morning. Let them know how much you appreciated that and they may just be up for doing it again.
- Share good news when it happens instead of waiting for when you’re together. What are relationships for if not for sharing the lovely moments in life, even when you’re texting? If you don’t already, try sending your sweetie little snippets about successes in your day. It’ll put a smile on their face and they may share their joys with you. This will also help you to feel more connected to what’s going on in each other’s lives.
- Take texting breaks sometimes. Having healthy breaks from texting each other is just as important as actively texting. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder! Don’t get me wrong, though, this doesn’t mean playing games and refraining from answering texts just because. Rather, this means being present when you’re doing things without your partner and taking a break from texting them.
- No game playing or waiting to respond. Playing games with texting is just ridiculous. There’s no amount of time that you need to wait in order to respond to your partner. Instead, answer whenever you want to or whenever you can. Your lover will appreciate your straightforwardness.
- Give your partner the benefit of the doubt. There are so many ways that texts can be misconstrued. For example, if you think your partner might have said something sarcastically, assume that they didn’t. You can even ask them to help you understand what it is that they said and why. If you trust your S.O., it’s good to believe that they aren’t saying something mean.
