You loved him and he threw your heart away. Hurt as it may, you have to gather up your strength and pride and refuse to give him any more of yourself. Here is a list of things you have to stop giving the man who hurt you:
- Your thoughts. You can’t afford to waste any more of them on him. He’s gone, and he’s most likely not thinking of you. It sucks, but it’s the truth. You can’t let yourself become consumed with memories and nostalgia for something that no longer exists.
- Your attention. You gave him enough of it when you were together and he tossed you aside anyway. He doesn’t deserve a moment more. You can’t change what’s happened, but you can choose to look ahead to the future rather than staying stuck in the past.
- Your phone calls. Damn, it’s so tempting to call. You just want to hear his voice one more time, listen for any hint that he still cares. You’re only killing yourself, girl. Have some self-respect. The worst is finding out later that the only reason he answered was because he felt bad for you. Even worse, when he ignores the calls completely. Don’t put yourself in that position.
- Your texts. They may seem lower risk than phone calls, but they’re still a terrible idea. You’ll end up staring at your phone all day, waiting for a reply that may never come. Stop attaching all your emotions to a man who is no longer what he was in your life. You’re only prolonging your pain and suffering.
- Your concern. You hear from mutual friends that he’s sick or he’s hurt himself. You worry needlessly. He’s no longer your problem. You’re free! All his problems that you had to take on as your own? You don’t have to think about them anymore. This is the best part of a breakup, so enjoy it.
- Your well-wishes. You don’t need to hex him or anything, but you don’t need to waste positive mental energy on him either. At best, you should be indifferent. Whether he’s great or struggling, it’s not your business. He’s not a part of your life anymore. It sucks, yes, and it hurts like hell. You have to suck it up and leave him alone.
- Your obsession. It’s easy to fixate, stalking his social media accounts and begging your friends for any and all news of him. It’s not worth it. You gave him so much of your energy when you were together. Now you need all the stamina you can muster to get over the relationship and move on. Do it.
- Your wistfulness. You pore over old pictures and notes, recalling lovely moments the two of you shared together. Of course you had good times — otherwise you wouldn’t have stayed together as long as you did. Unfortunately, those good times have come to an end. He hurt you, so you shouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that you miss him anyway.
- Your regret. Crap happens. People make mistakes. Maybe you did something to mess up the relationship. Maybe you hurt him too. It’s too late, and it doesn’t matter anymore. You can’t fix it, and if your partnership with him was strong enough you would’ve weathered the storm. Something else wasn’t working, and you have to recognize that and forgive yourself.
- Your sadness. You’ll have a mourning period. That’s to be expected. Just don’t let that grief take over your life. Don’t let it make you fall into a depression you can’t fight. Don’t let it sabotage your light, your strength, and your happiness. It’s one thing to be sad, and quite another to be horribly depressed. You have to give yourself time to mourn and then suck it up and force yourself to move on.
- Your depression. You can wallow all you want, but it doesn’t change a damn thing. He’s going on with his life, doing whatever he’s going to do, regardless of how you feel. There’s no point in making your own existence a living hell. It means nothing to him. He’s moving on. Allow yourself to do the same.
- Your everlasting affection. There might always be a little love in your heart for him, despite everything. Some people have the capacity to forgive unforgivable wrongs. This makes you a good person, not a weak one. Still, you have to let go. No matter how much you adored him, he let you go. You can’t cling to someone who doesn’t want you. It’s too humiliating.
