There are women who really try to support each other, and then there are those who like throwing each other under the bus. Sometimes it’s to make themselves feel better, sometimes it’s just heavy sexist brainwashing, but either way, we need to get it together! Here are 12 things women need to stop saying to each other IMMEDIATELY.
- “She looks like a slut.” Slut-shaming is a huge offense that we already have to deal with from men, so why do it to each other? Don’t put another woman down to make yourself feel better.
- “She’s fat.” Or “Oh my gosh, you look so skinny!” The second one might seem harmless, but they’re both just as bad. Women are usually judged on their weight. Give a compliment on something that actually matters since women are valuable at any size.
- “You would look so pretty if ___.” This is just a backhanded compliment. Never give advice on someone’s looks if they didn’t even ask you. And don’t hide behind fake compliments to be mean.
- “You should breastfeed/bottle feed.” The mommy wars are alive and well, but we can put a stop to them! Women are shamed for just about everything. Shouldn’t how we feed own babies be our own decision to make? Yes!
- “Why would I listen to your advice? You don’t have a man.” There are some ladies out there who feel like their own worth is based upon whether a guy is with them, but then puts that insecurity onto others. A woman could be single because she hasn’t found a guy worth her time. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t know anything about love or men.
- “You know women are supposed to ___.” This is usually filled by something very sexist. If you don’t hold men to the same standard, just go without saying it. Being a woman, you already know she has pressure in her own head and society of what she’s supposed to be or do. Don’t be another thing pressuring her.
- “Guys like it when ____.” Unless this is followed by “you’re true to yourself”, you might want to stop. Making sweeping generalizations like this could lead a girl the wrong way. Also, women are always being told what guys like, as if they continually have to change for them. We need to stop this.
- “You’re single? You must be so lonely!” This is another line that’s stemming from thinking that a woman needs a man to truly be happy. Women are often made to feel this way, but we CAN be fulfilled by our relationships with friends, work, and family. If she isn’t lonely, then you’re just insulting her.
- “You did sex work? You’re not a true feminist.” This is a really privileged and sexist way of thinking – [rivileged because some women turn to sex work because they don’t have any other options, and sexist because if they do choose it, then they’re just a slut. We don’t say that about men like Channing Tatum who worked in the industry.
- “What a basic bitch.” This is just a new way to put women down, and we need to put an end to it. Who cares if she chooses to wear certain designers and drink Starbucks? Does her doing that really make you feel better about yourself?
- “You wear a lot of makeup.” This is a backhanded observation that usually means you want this person to stop or wear less. Many people think women who wear makeup are deeply insecure, but guess what? Wearing makeup is fun and a personal decision! So just move it along.
- “I heard she got a promotion because she slept with someone.” The professional world already thinks women don’t have any skills, or should be paid less for them. So why do perpetuate this? In order to get true equality, we need to be on the same page on how women should be treated in the workplace.
