12 Struggles Of Being Picky AF That Can Make You Want To Settle (But You Shouldn’t!)

Some call you too fussy and unreasonable but being picky about who you date can be a very good thing. It’s not always easy, but these struggles that come along with having high standards are actually worth it.

  1. You’re alone on Friday night. Again. You had a date lined up but you decided the guy was all wrong for you so you’re staying in with your cats. So what? At least you’re not wasting time with some loser on a first date who won’t stop talking about his ex, or throwing back booze and making an ass out of himself.
  2. You’re stressed AF. When you do agree to go on a date with someone, you stress about what they’re like and if they’re really, truly right for you. It might seem crazy to your friends to overthink things so much, but it’s actually good to take the time to soul search and figure things out. You don’t date just for the sake of it, for goodness’ sake.
  3. You’re a one-date wonder. Okay, so there have been many first dates that didn’t make it to the second date, but so what? At least you’re not wasting your time trying to make something happen with someone when it just doesn’t feel right. It’s better to be a one-date wonder than to be stuck in a boring LTR. Fact!
  4. People think you’re crazy for wanting the great love. Yes, it might sound silly, but you know what? Waiting it out for that great love is actually a good thing. It might make you feel depressed sometimes or worry that you won’t ever find it, but just think: the more men you weed out who are wrong for you, the greater your chances of meeting the right one.
  5. Men see you as bitchy. You’re totally misunderstood! Men might see you as judgmental but that’s their problem. Plus, being misunderstood or unfairly judged is the perfect opportunity to stop worrying so much about what others think of you. What you think of yourself counts much more.
  6. You’re called unreasonable. Yes, you want a guy who’s not too tall but not too short, either. Yes, you want a guy who’s chivalrous and you won’t settle for a guy who doesn’t know exactly what he wants. And he’d better not wear crocs, for the love of God. So what? It’s called having high standards and it’s a great thing because without them, you’ll be sacrificing your happiness.
  7. You only date your type. It’s good to try dating someone who isn’t your usual type, but TBH, it’s not your cup of tea. You know exactly what kind of guy you’re looking for because of your dating experience, so why would you waste your time going for different guys? You’d rather not waste your time.
  8. You end up having really long dry spells. It sometimes sucks to be single for long months at a time but you’re great on your own and don’t need a man for anything, especially not sex. After all, you have your trusty vibrator!
  9. You’re told to be less harsh. Okay, so you dissed a guy who had a weird laugh or facial tic, and your friends thought you were crazy AF, but you know what? If you stuck with him even though he annoyed you, the problems would only get worse with time. So really, it’s not about you being too picky but really saving yourself future irritation. You have the right to reject someone for something ridiculous because it’s YOUR life.
  10. You’ve become cynical. It’s hard to meet a guy who meets all your standards because they’re so high, but you’d rather stay single than lower your standards even if you’ve become a bit jaded. Hey, being cynical about guys can actually be a good thing. By thinking of the worst case scenario and going into dates without expectations, you know how to deal with disappointment without suffering dating burnout.
  11. You seem confused to other people (but you’re definitely not). Sometimes you avoid dating a guy who seems great because you just feel something’s off and you can’t explain what. Your friends might roll their eyes when you tell them this and think you’re indecisive, but the truth is that you’re following your gut. So what if you’re missing an opportunity? There are many others. Besides, your gut will never let you down, even if you never find out why it was steering you away from certain guys. Trust it.
  12. You worry you’ll die alone. Sure, sometimes you wish you had the amazing husband and white picket fence, but honestly the rest of the time you’re glad you’re not hitched because you haven’t met the right person to spend forever with. Anyone can get married, but how many are actually happy with their choices? How many are jumping into marriage just to feel worthy by society’s standards? It’s total BS. Better to be picky and make the right decision that feels 100 percent good than sell your future to a disappointment. You’re too amazing for that kind of half-life.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.
close-link
close-link