You’re seeing each other but you’re not exclusive. Having an almost boyfriend might offer a certain level of freedom, but it also comes with limitations about what’s acceptable behavior — especially when texting. Here are some texts you should NEVER send to the guy you’re only kinda-sorta dating because — newsflash! — he’s not actually your boyfriend:
- “Who is that woman commenting on your Facebook picture?” You can’t really get jealous about his female interactions because he’s not dating you exclusively. Sending this message to him just makes you look clingy or psycho, even if it does feel totally reasonable to ask.
- “What’s the party you’re going to this weekend?” You heard through the grapevine that he’s going to a hot event and you’d love to go with him but he hasn’t invited you. Instead of hinting that you want to be his plus one, go do something else and stop worrying about who he’s going with because as your almost boyfriend he doesn’t have to be glued to your hip.
- “Hey, why so quiet?” This might seem like a harmless text — you might have even sent it to your BFF once or twice — but that doesn’t make it okay to send to an almost boyfriend because it looks like you’re checking up on him. He might not have texted you back for a few days, but he doesn’t actually have to, as much as that sucks to admit.
- “I really like you.” Since you’ve been seeing each other for a while, you might think it’s cool to send him a text telling him that you like him. But the risk is that it could feel like too much, especially if he’s made it clear from the start that you’re not a couple. It’s not about censoring your feelings but realizing it’s pointless to send your feelings out to a guy who’s sort of your guy. He doesn’t deserve them.
- “I’m going out with my ex tonight.” Your almost boyfriend asked what you’re doing on the weekend but then didn’t invite you out. You felt totally bummed, so you told him that you’re actually going to spend time with an ex-boyfriend. You might be trying to make him jealous, but save yourself the effort. If he was going to be jealous about who you’re spending time with, he would have made things official with you so that you were off the market.
- “Where are things going with us?” You might reach a point in your almost relationship where you’re sick and tired of the mixed messages. You want to know where you stand, but asking him where things are going isn’t a good idea. If you have to ask him, then you already have your answer: they’re going nowhere.
- “I sent you a friend request on Facebook.” He’ll know what this really means: I want you to change your relationship status on Facebook to show the world that we’re dating — at least he’ll suspect that, even if your messages is harmless.
- “Wanna meet my folks?” Whoa, what? You might think you and your almost boyfriend have been getting closer so it’s cool to invite him out with you and your folks, but it’s not. You shouldn’t be letting any guy meet your folks unless he’s your exclusive boyfriend and you’ve been dating for a while so you know that he’s not psycho.
- “Thinking of you.” Maybe you are thinking of him, but it feels way too romantic to send this to your almost boyfriend. Just remind yourself that if he was thinking of you, he’d be texting you!
- “I think we should stop seeing each other.” Breaking up via text is always harsh, but with an almost boyfriend it’s also weird. Can you really break up if you aren’t even dating? Instead, it might be better to just pull back and text him less and less to give him the idea that you’re moving on. It’s just less awkward than making a big breakup announcement.
- “Here’s a nude pic of me.” Sending a nude pic of yourself when you haven’t heard from your almost boyfriend for a while might seem like a clever strategy to get his attention, but it just looks desperate AF. Save the nude pics for a guy you’re in a committed relationship with who you trust — you don’t want that crap getting out in public.
