There’s no denying that being in love can be one of the greatest things in the world, but you can actually be too in love—as in, so in love that you’re making yourself sick with madness in love. While that type of love makes for a great story in the movies, in real life, it does a lot more damage than good.
- You’re obsessive. It’s one thing to be in love, but to be obsessive about it is just too much. Trust me, your friends don’t want to hear about your effing boyfriend 24/7 when there are are SO many other things that you can talk about with them. Breaking news: the world is a disaster right now, so why don’t you focus at least some of your energy on that for a change?
- You make too many sacrifices. Although sacrifices are totally the name of the game in relationships, you can actually make them far too often. It’s one thing to let him have the window seat on the plane or the last slice of pizza, but it’s a whole other thing when you’re sacrificing parts of yourself for him. It’s not just unhealthy but you’re setting yourself up to be walked all over and hurt. Look in the mirror; you’re not a doormat, so quit acting like one.
- You get jealous way too easily. When you’re sickeningly, madly in love with someone, your brain can play tricks on you. Because of this, you don’t see things clearly and are made jealous far too easily. It’s exhausting to be jealous! You need to step back, take a look at your relationship, and seriously ask yourself, “Do I have a reason to be jealous?” If not, then count to 10 and rein yourself back into reality.
- You forgive what’s unforgivable. Abuse—physical, mental, verbal, or otherwise— is unforgivable. Cheating, constant lying, deceit, and manipulation are also unforgivable. If you’re forgiving these things, then you’ve created not just an unhealthy atmosphere within your relationship but you’ve handed over the power to your partner and have basically told him that he can do whatever the hell he wants and you’ll be OK with it. You should never be OK with any of these things.
- You put him on a pedestal. When we put people on a pedestal, we’re saying they’re better than us. In doing so, we create an imbalance in the relationship. No one is better than anyone else, meaning not even your boyfriend is better than you, no matter how fantastic you think he is. It’s not healthy or even sane to put someone on a pedestal, so please kick that pedestal from underneath him and have him stand beside you, not above you.
- You spoil him. Gifts are great! Compliments are awesome! But you know what’s even better? Not doling them out all the time. If you constantly give, you won’t allow a chance to receive and that throws off the dynamics of any relationship. You also create a very spoiled man and a spoiled man is a nightmare with which to deal. Like, a total fucking nightmare.
- You let him get away with way too much BS. Listen, if he’s being an a-hole, you shouldn’t let him get away with it. Call him out on it. If he says he’s going to be somewhere at a certain time and never shows up, you don’t just let it roll off your back. Similar to forgiving what’s unforgivable, you create an environment where he can do whatever he wants without fear of repercussion. That’s not love; that’s madness.
- You can’t do anything without him. Getting back to that obsession thing, you know you’re sickeningly, madly in love when the mere idea of doing anything, like anything at all, without him feels like hell on Earth. Dinner alone? No way. Weekend away solo? Hell no. Showering in the morning? Can’t. Do. It. I mean, come on; that’s no way to live. Space and time apart are actually very healthy.
- You’ve put your friends on the back burner. A very important fact about friends is that the good ones are around for the long haul. They were part of your life before you met your damn Romeo and, as long as you don’t jeopardize those friendships by ignoring them, they’ll be around long after Romeo takes his leave. And he will. Nothing lasts forever. That’s just basic science.
- You creep on his Facebook too often. Whether it’s his Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, or any of the rest of his social media platforms, if you find yourself creeping up on them several times a day, then you need to realize you’re being a little too aggressive and, honestly, a bit scary, too. Exactly what are you trying to find? Or are you simply that enamored that you just can’t get through the day without staring at his photos? Either scenario is Creepsville.
- You mother him. It’s one thing to be supportive and give him a shoulder to cry on but it’s another thing when you take on the role of almost being his mother. You know you’re mothering him when you coddle him, spoil him, talk to him like he’s a child, drop everything to help him even when he doesn’t really need help—these are all signs of a woman who’s gone from being a partner to being a mother. It may have worked out for Ancient Rome, but in 2017, it’s just gross. Don’t be gross.
