11 Signs You Don’t Have A Healthy Date-Life Balance

Dating is important, especially for those who want to find a long-term partner. However, you care about your career too and are always trying to strike the perfect work-life balance. How do you do it? Make sure your dates/relationships aren’t taking up too much time and energy from the rest of your life. If these 11 things are happening, they’re signs that you need to take some stock.

  1. You feel lost without weekend plans. When you’ve got no dates lined up for the weekend or your boyfriend’s out of town, you don’t know what to do with yourself. That right there is a red flag that you need to have a healthier date-life balance. Basically, you need to start living more than you’re dating!
  2. All your spare time goes to dating. Whether you’re single or not, if you’re letting all the spare time you have at your disposal go to dating, then what’s left for you? You should be having some time purely to yourself, so you can recharge your batteries and focus on other important things in your life that you want to do. Being on your own is sacred time. Don’t waste it.
  3. You think about finding the one all the time. You’re single and can’t wait to find your forever person. The problem with spending so much time thinking about this is that it can take over your entire life, becoming a toxic goal. You were made for more than just being someone’s girlfriend or wife, and don’t forget it!
  4. You feel exhausted after dates. Sometimes, taking a dating break is just what the doctor ordered so that you don’t let dating rule your entire life. So, if you’re feeling exhausted after dates, it’s your body’s way of saying you need to take a holiday away from the romance. You might even feel this exhaustion when you’re in a committed relationship, which is why a relationship break is sometimes useful.
  5. You make your relationship your priority. When you get into a relationship, your life revolves around it. You’re 100 percent invested in making the relationship as healthy and happy as possible. Although it’s good to work for your relationship, you don’t want to lose energy that’s supposed to go to other things in your life. Your relationship should never be allowed to take over your entire life.
  6. You never see your friends. You’re either working or dating – there’s no fun time with your friends anymore. Woah, that’s not cool! If you push your friendships aside when you get a boyfriend, you can end up seriously regretting it. You need your friends around to give you other kinds of love that enrich your life. It’s not all about having romantic love, after all.
  7. Your weekends are about your bf. When you’re spending time with your partner on the weekend, you always end up doing what he wants to do. By the time Monday rolls around, you might be left feeling unsatisfied because you never got to do your passions or hobbies. You need to coin together some spare time in which you can satisfy those needs, otherwise, a life of feeling unsatisfied will end up with you being depressed.
  8. You drop plans. When you’re out with your friends or you’re having a quiet night in by yourself, your boyfriend calls and asks to see you. You drop your plans to head out to him, every time. He’s clearly the most important person in your life, but should he be more important than you and your need to have a full, thriving life? He really shouldn’t be.
  9. You expect more and more from your partner. Fact: you need to have relationship expectations otherwise where is it headed? But, if you’re always demanding more and more from your partner, that could be because you don’t have a healthy life-dating balance. You might be expecting your partner to fulfill all your needs and dreams, and be the perfect person (which is totes unrealistic). Instead, you should be fulfilling your own needs, thus preventing yourself from becoming too dependent on someone else to make you happy.
  10. You can’t remember the last time you went on holiday alone. If you’re always doing everything with your partner, you might not be able to remember the last time you did something on your own, whether that means going to the movies, spa, or a weekend holiday to the coast. You should still embrace your alone time and independence when you’re in a relationship. It’ll enrich and satisfy you in ways your partner can’t – and shouldn’t be expected to.
  11. You’re lacking energy. If you don’t attend to your needs – instead, you’re always catering to what your partner needs from you – this can make you lose the spark you should have with yourself and your life. You don’t have any time or energy to dedicate to yourself, which means that you’re just there to be a love martyr and doormat. It’s so screwed up. You’re the person who should get the most time, energy, and resources from your life. It’s your life, after all, and you’re supposed to be the most important person in it.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.
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