While you might immediately think it’s a red flag when a guy you’ve just started talking to/dating never wants to speak to you on the phone, it doesn’t always mean that he’s shady or not interested in you. Here are 11 possible reasons he’s avoiding calling you in favor of texting.
- He has phone fright. Maybe he gets sweaty and nervous about speaking on the phone. Maybe he just got your number and is nervous to take the leap and call you. What if you don’t answer his call? It’s easier for him to face rejection from a text, right?
- He doesn’t like the sound of his own voice. Ever heard your voice on a recording and cringed? Maybe your guy doesn’t like how his voice sounds on the phone so he’d rather chat to you face to face because then you’re not solely focused on his voice.
- Talking on the phone seems outdated to him. While you might really like chatting on the phone, he might think it’s really outdated, sort of like sending someone a letter in the mail. You might find the latter romantic but to him, it’s a hassle. He could just as easily send you a quick text. That’s why it’s no big deal to avoid chatting on the phone.
- Calling doesn’t fit in with his busy lifestyle. You might enjoy long phone calls but they’re a real nuisance to him, so save them for your BFF! It’s not that he doesn’t want to hear your voice, but he doesn’t want to end up in a long call, especially if he’s doing lots of different tasks while chatting to you. It’s just easier to text in-between tasks than having to talk through them.
- He doesn’t want to lose momentum. If you’ve recently met the guy and he doesn’t suggest chatting on the phone, maybe he’s hoping to save all the important chatter for when you meet IRL. Nothing wrong with that — it’s a great way not to lose momentum.
- He’s not much of a talker. He’s a shy guy with whom you sometimes have awkward silences. That can make phone calls really weird. If you know he’s shy and a bit socially awkward, then that would explain why he avoids phone calls. Hey, as long as he’s making a real effort to chat to you in other ways, then it’s all good.
- It’s been weird in the past. If you had a weird or awkward phone call with this guy in the past, chances are that it’s put him off trying to chat on the phone again. Maybe you just have better textual chemistry than phone-call chemistry and that’s fine. As long as you have a good connection IRL, then it’s no biggie.
- He’s trying to make the best impression. When you talk to someone on the phone, it’s easy to mess up and say things in a way that doesn’t paint you in the best light, only for you to kick yourself when the call’s over. By avoiding calls in favor of texting, it gives him a chance to think of his answers to your questions and take more time to get back to you if needed.
- He’s playing hard to get. Linked to the above point is how he might be avoiding looking too eager because he’s just met you. So, he’ll refrain from calling you and instead text you to make things feel less pressured. Sending off a flirtatious text feels much more chilled than calling to say the words.
- He’s hiding something. While his reasons for not wanting to chat to you on the phone can be benign, there are some red flags that could be at play. For example, maybe he lives with his mates and wouldn’t want you to catch him out for lying when he said he lives alone. Or, he’s got a girlfriend who lives with him. Yikes.
- He doesn’t want a serious relationship. He might not be taking your communication into the realm of phone calls because he doesn’t want to commit to you. He doesn’t see you as girlfriend material and doesn’t want to give you the wrong idea by stepping up and calling when he could just text. Phoning someone does seem to say, “I’m really interested” because it feels like the type of dating effort not every Tom, Dick, and Harry will make.
