Getting turned away by someone you care about hurts like hell, and when it happens, it can be hard to keep yourself from dissolving into a non-functioning puddle of tears. But if you want to pick yourself up and continue living life after being rejected, here’s how you can get back on your feet:
- Know that this feeling is temporary. That tired old phrase “this too shall pass” can sometimes be the most comforting of mantras. There are few things in life that are permanent, and this feeling of despair is not one of them. You may believe that your world’s falling apart, but know that it’s only a matter of time until you feel better.
- Avoid seeking out revenge no matter how tempting it seems. When someone hurts you, the natural and human reaction is to lust after revenge. Right now, there are probably few things as satisfying as the idea of making this guy hurt the way he’s hurt you. You may fantasize about screwing him over in some ultra-dramatic way, but make sure that the fantasy doesn’t seep into reality. Seeking revenge is a short-term cure for your sorrow, and even if it works, the feeling of glee won’t last.
- Don’t over-analyze the situation. It’s easy to sit around trying to work out what went through the guy’s mind and why you weren’t “the one” for him, but where will that honestly get you? Over-analyzing things and trying to figure out what went wrong is time-consuming and tedious. In the end, there’s just one answer: you weren’t right for one another.
- Quit replaying things in your head. When you’re in the wake of a breakup, you’re certain to spend a load of time replaying scenes in your head. The more you think about the relationship (or end of it), the harder it will be to move past it. It honestly doesn’t matter how many times you play out that last conversation; the outcome will always be the same. All that will happen is you’ll end up fixating on the past, making it impossible to get over.
- Stop chasing him. One of the worst mistakes any lady can make is to carry on chasing a guy once he’s flat-out said it’s over. Rejection is tough. but by chasing him time and time again (and, of course, continuously getting knocked back), you’re only going to make this more painful. Calling and texting him “just to see what’s up” doesn’t make you look chill; it makes you look desperate.
- Focus on making yourself happy. When people are rejected romantically, they often make the error of focusing all their attentions on the other person. You may find yourself pondering what you could have done better to make HIM happy, or why you weren’t who HE needed you to be. Screw that. It’s time to focus on you and what makes YOU happy. There isn’t a person out there who’s going to take charge of your emotional well-being. Stop offering the reins up to every man you meet; take hold of them yourself.
- Know that it really is his loss. How many times have you heard this one from well-meaning friends and family members? Though the words may be well-worn, there’s some truth in them: If this guy doesn’t want to be with you, he’s the one missing out. He found a woman who was willing to open up to him, give him love and affection, and share her time with him. Frankly, he’s a fool to throw that away, and you don’t need to be with a fool.
- Eat well, exercise, and sleep. It may sound simple, but you have to take care of yourself. Some people let rejection make them feel less human. Suddenly, they start to neglect their basic needs, but the road to recovery is paved with these three things. Don’t make the mistake of letting one little obstacle change how you feel about yourself.
- Don’t say “let’s be friends.” The moment these silly little three words escape from your lips, you’re done for. You know that you’re lying to yourself when you say this, right? You’re trying to pretend that in your aching state of emotional agony, you can reconcile with the very person who hurt you. Yeah right. If you don’t mean it, don’t say it. You owe him nothing.
- Be honest about your pain. Pain is not a weakness; it means you’re human. If you’re hurting on the inside, you’re allowed to be honest about that. Confiding in a close friend will help. It’ll make you understand that rejection is a natural part of life. But be warned: While venting to a friend is healthy, calling up your ex to tell him how hurt you are is NOT!
