In order to get a second date, you have to totally nail the first. First dates are awkward and scary but without them, we’d all be single. Here are ways to make sure your guy isn’t a one-time deal.
- Put your phone away when he’s around. Seriously, all the way away, not just on the table. The only exception is if you have kids, and if you do, you should be open about that immediately. Otherwise, it looks like you’re just waiting to be bored by this guy. I know it’s 2019 and our social lives are tied to our iPhones, but every first date should at least get your full attention.
- Make eye contact. This is another surefire way to show him that you’re present in the conversation. You don’t have to stare at him, but turning toward him and occasionally glancing into his eyes is a great way to form a connection.
- Ask him about his family. When you ask about family, you’re more or less saying, “I see this as a serious thing.” You want to figure out how he gets along with them and if family is important to him. If you ask him about his career first (which will surely come up at some point), it makes it look like you’re more concerned over the amount of money he makes. A career is a part of who he is today but hearing about his family will sum him up a bit more as a person.
- Joke around with him. Most guys really appreciate a girl who can dish out (and take) a light joke. Don’t be mean but don’t be afraid to make some observational humor. The second you crack a joke, the date will be a lot less tense. He’ll know you’re in to have a fun time and get to know him, not just to score a free drink.
- Be confident even if you have to fake it a little. Confidence is a sexy trait on everyone so if you go in there with a great sense of self and a good attitude, he’ll be counting his lucky stars that you’re actually single for some strange reason. Everyone has their own hangups, but it’s so important to be comfortable in your own skin. He’s not going to notice your small imperfections, but he will notice if you seem down on yourself.
- If you have a question about something he says, ask. If he’s talking all about his favorite band, don’t be afraid to ask him more, especially if you’ve never heard of them. Even better, ask him what his favorite songs are so you can look them up later. It means you genuinely care. Plus, guys like honesty and he won’t think you’re stupid for asking him to elaborate on something. In the slim chance that he does make you feel like you’re dumb, he’s not worthy of a second date anyway.
- Flirt a little in your texts. Saying “I had a great time” with a heart emoji is a good way to get his read on the situation. If he agrees, he may be willing to plan a second date immediately. It’s because that heart told him you liked him without coming across as too creepy or intense. A little flirting never hurt anyone.
- Pretend your ex-boyfriend doesn’t exist. There’s nothing guys hate more than hearing a date complain about their ex all night. Even if they were the worst person ever, continuing to mention them, especially during a first date, makes it seem like you’re not over them. Guys will quickly lose interest if they feel like they need to compete with an ex. If you want that second date, just keep your lips zipped.
- Don’t get sloshed. This is good advice for anyone who’s past their own roaring twenties but regardless of age, it’s an important way to secure a second date. You can drink but know your limits — it shows you’ve got self-control. You want this guy to see you at your most charming. If he thinks you may have substance abuse problems instead, he might not be texting you back about that second date.
- Avoid asking him serious questions on the first date. The first date isn’t the time to ask about whether or not they want kids in the future. It’s more about seeing if the two of you jive. If you check off all the “important to know someday” topics on the first date, he’s going to feel like you just want to be married to someone immediately. Those conversations are super important, but they’ll come up naturally when things progress.
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