10 Ways Guys Tell You They’re Not Into You Without Actually Saying It

The truth is, sometimes guys go on dates just for the sake of it. They’re not even that excited about it, but they go anyway, wasting everyone’s time and energy in the process. If you notice any of these warning signs, you might as well get out ASAP because he doesn’t actually want to be there.

  1. He’s completely distracted. If he’s looking at everything BUT you, take it as a sign that he’s not interested. For some reason, that wall ornament is a lot more attractive than your face and the girls passing by your table seem to be getting ALL of his focus. If he can’t even hold it together for one hour and give you his undivided attention, consider the date a dud.
  2. He doesn’t ask you any questions. Guys love to talk about themselves and if you’re finding the conversation extremely one-sided, he might be more into himself than he is you. Sure, it could absolutely be a sign of nerves and if he has a worried look on his face, he could sincerely just be nervous. That’s totally excusable and even a little cute, sure, but if he seems calm and at ease, he’s not taking this date as seriously as he should be and it’s time to bring it to an end.
  3. He stares into his drink. If he finds the remnants of his Old-Fashioned a lot more interesting than that one time you tried to lindy hop, he couldn’t care less about this rendezvous. Granted, some people like to keep themselves busy at the table to distract themselves from being nervous, and if he just can’t seem to stop poking that maraschino cherry in the bottom of his glass, he could be trying to relieve the stress he’s feeling from trying to impress you. However, if he also has a look of boredom on his face then it might mean that he’s just simply not into what you’re dishing out.
  4. He’s got his arms crossed. A lot of girls find it attractive when a guy crosses his arms because it makes his muscles seem big, but if he’s got his arms crossed for the majority of the date then he’s not doing it to woo you—he’s doing it to block you out emotionally. I mean, come on—he’s literally forming a big “x” between the two of you. If that doesn’t say “I’m not interested” then I don’t know what does.
  5. He doesn’t take off his jacket. If he doesn’t take off his jacket right away, it’s either really drafty or he’s not invested in the date. He might have already had doubts about it and by keeping his coat on, he’s giving you a very subtle message of “don’t count on it.” He’s just making sure that when you do end up leaving, he can get out as soon as possible.
  6. He’s late and doesn’t let you know ahead of time. It’s one thing to be late and let the other person know. It’s a whole other thing to be late and not warn your date about it ahead of time. This shows how much he DOESN’T care about the date. If he did, he would have called you and if he didn’t call, he would have at least apologized. If he shows up late and doesn’t say anything about it, he’s gotta be cut.
  7. He walks ahead of you. Some guys like the idea of being a “leader” and that’s totally cool, but if he’s walking bounds ahead of you, he’s more concerned for his safety than yours and this could be a sign that he’s not into either you specifically or dating in general. When you’re on a date with someone, you should be showing off your best behavior and by walking ahead he’s literally leaving you in the dust. Get rid of him and move on.
  8. It doesn’t look like he made any effort. The disheveled look can be kinda cute, but if he smells or is wearing a dirty shirt or looks like he just climbed out of a mine shaft, he might not have as much stake in this date as you were hoping. He should have at least made an effort. If he walks in with sweatpants and a hole in his shirt, you best be walkin’ right out.
  9. He talks about his ex. This is probably the clearest and most accurate sign that he isn’t into you. What could be more obvious than him still being attached to his ex? If he keeps bringing her up,  he’s just flat-out not ready to date and it’s not your fault at all. He’s just not in the right headspace. I really wish guys would learn to process their feelings instead of dumping them on their Tinder dates…
  10. He interrupts you. He’s interrupting you because he doesn’t care about you. Sounds harsh, but someone had to say it. He thinks that whatever’s coming out of his mouth is better than anything you have to say and is using this date to either get approval from a girl or to straight up show off. Nothing is more annoying than a guy who interrupts a woman on a first date, we get that enough in literally every other area of our lives. He’ll never see you again, and you’re super happy about that.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer, and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada. She studied Creative Writing at Concordia University and works as a lifestyle writer who focuses on Health, B2B, Tech, Psychology, Science, Food Trends and Millennial Life. She's also a coreographer, playwright, and lyricist, with choreography credits for McMaster University’s “Spring Awakening,” “Roxanne” for the Guelph Contemporary Dance Festival, and “The Beaver Den” for The LOT, among others.

You can see more of her work on her Contently page and follow her on Instagram @jenniferenchin.
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