When someone tells you they love you, it should be an exciting, possibly even romantic, moment. Love is a good thing, right? Well, not necessarily. Everyone falls in love, and expresses that love differently, and those three little words have the power to completely destroy something that had real potential. It sucks, but when and how you tell someone you love them matters. People who say I love you to just anyone all the time like it’s no big deal have probably never really been in love. It just comes off as insincere, and is likely to end a relationship before it even starts
- On a first date. This has desperate written all over it. Not to mention the restraining order you’ll inevitably be filing when he decides you’re the love of his life and he can’t live without you. This is the reason you don’t tell new guys where you live until you’re sure their emotionally stable enough to not stalk you.
- When he’s completely wasted. A slurred “I looove you” is never going to be well received. Even worse if it’s just an “ily” text. Not even a 14-year-old can get away with such laziness. Either say it in person, or go away. And if he can only express his feelings while drunk, that’s a pretty serious red flag.
- When you thought you were just hooking up. There’s not much worse than thinking you’re in a mutually beneficial FWB relationship and he ruins everything by dropping the L-bomb. Where did it even come from? Feelings are exactly how you lose a perfectly good hookup buddy.
- The first time you have sex. So your vagina is magical and he fell in love the moment he entered it. Very possible. But he obviously never learned the different between an orgasm and love, because that thing he’s feeling definitely isn’t true love.
- When he’s your best friend. First you’re going to have to actually put some real thought into whether you see any dating potential with him. If you don’t, you’ll have the unpleasant task of sitting him down and telling him that you love him too, just not in that way. And if you do, you better be willing to take the risk that you’ll try dating and your friendship will be ruined. The decision is all on you, so try not to screw it up. Cue stress induced heart palpitations.
- When you’re in a relationship with someone else. Beware of the guy who tries to get under your skin by choosing the exact wrong times to profess his love. This guy isn’t new at this. He knows exactly what he’s doing— and he’ll probably vanish the second you even hint at returning his feelings.
- When he’s in a relationship with someone else. This guy just likes the attention. He wants to have someone else on the hook in case he ever finds himself single. He’ll string you along until you’ve finally had enough. Think about it— if he actually loved you he wouldn’t be with someone else, now would he?
- When you aren’t ready to say it back. This has to potential to go very wrong if you don’t handle it just perfectly. Saying I love you is scary enough without having the object of your affection force a smile and say, “OK, thanks”, so if you really care about him, be gentle. And remember, honesty is the best policy.
- In front of a bunch of people. Some people are into the public displays of affection, and others cringe at the thought. If you aren’t the type, yet he continuously backs you into a corner by professing his love for you in front of others, then maybe if you shut him down in front of all those people, he’ll take the hint.
- When you haven’t even met in person yet. I mean, who hasn’t seen at least an episode of Catfish at this point? If they refuse to show you their face and always find an excuse not to meet you, there’s something up. They don’t love you, they just want to trick you into sending them some money. Don’t be stupid.
