I’ve always been a hopeless romantic, but for now, my ring finger remains bare. I’ve got high standards and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I won’t settle for less than my dream man, whoever he may be. When he does come along, there are some things I’ll need him to know before I say “I do.”
- I hate going to sleep mid-argument. It’s one of my pet peeves and I just can’t deal with it. I can’t turn my mind off and go to sleep if things aren’t right between us. I know some things take time to sort properly, but I need some reassurance things are going to be okay before we turn off for the night. The ability to be mad at each other but still express our love for each other is important to me.
- I will be inexplicably emotional at times. I cry. A lot. Sometimes there’ll be a clear explanation, other times there will not. Sometimes the explanation will be ridiculous. He might walk in to find me in tears, but it’s just because I’m watching an adorable hedgehog video. Other times it’ll be more serious. I’m an emotional soul, and always will be. I don’t want him to try to change that or toughen me up. I’m not ashamed to be sensitive.
- We have to be a team. I want an equal partnership, both supporting each other to be our best selves. I don’t expect him to be the breadwinner, but I’ll support all his hopes and dreams and I need him to support mine too. Gender roles won’t exist in our marriage – though I’d really love him to be in charge of taking the trash out. I’m happy to cook and clean, but I don’t want to be the only one doing it. I need him to do the dishes too.
- I will be his number one fan. We may be equals, but we’ll each have our moments to shine. I will always be his biggest cheerleader. If he tells me his most ridiculous dream and it’s important to him, I’ll help him make it happen in any way I can. I can pick up the slack at home when things get busy on the path to your goals. Likewise, there’ll be times where I need the focus to be on me, and I’ll need his support in return.
- I can’t always rationalize my insecurities. I’ve come a long way with my insecurities in the last few years, but sometimes they still get the better of me. There will no doubt be times when I just feel down on myself, and nothing he says will change it. That’s okay. I’m dealing with it, I just hit bumps in the road sometimes. By all means, I want him to try to help me see past them and accept if I can’t always manage that.
- I won’t always be fine when I say I am. I don’t expect him to be a mind reader, but I’ll need him to be able to use his intuition with me sometimes. He should know me well enough. If I say I’m fine when he’s sure I’m not, maybe I just don’t want to talk about it. I don’t want him to push me on it. I might be sad and not want to talk about it just yet, or maybe I’m annoyed about something I’m working on not being annoyed at. He should let me work through things on my own sometimes while making sure I know he’s there for me. I don’t need him to fix my problems, just to be there for me.
- A bottle of rose and a pizza will go a long way. I don’t need grand gestures all the time. If I’m having a bad day, ordering me a pizza, opening a bottle of wine, and putting on my favorite chick flick will work wonders for me. He should that I’d be just as happy with a $5 bunch of tulips as I would with a dozen red roses. The little things really do count.
- We will have animals. Lots of them. The one thing I’ve always been certain about my life is that I want to be surrounded by animals – as many of them as possible. From mice to horses, I love them all and can’t imagine growing a family where they don’t play a part. You may need to rein me in from trying to open some sort of animal sanctuary in our back garden, but I don’t want him to stop me from having them at all.
- I will still need my independence. Being a strong team is important to me, but so is being a strong woman. I need to be able to stand on my own two feet. I’ll support him in everything he does, but it’s important for us to keep our own lives too. While I want us to have things in common, I don’t expect us to share every interest. We should be comfortable having our own separate interests too. As much as I’ll love spending every day with him, I’ll also need time alone by myself or with my friends and family, and I don’t want to feel guilty about that.
- I will love him with all I have. I don’t love half-heartedly, and if he gets me down the aisle, I can promise I will give him everything I have. Even when things get tough or when I’m mad at you, I will love him. I won’t give up on him or us. It won’t always be easy because marriages take work, but we’ll work through things together.
