No one is denying that sex is an important part of a healthy relationship, but it’s also one of those things that’s different for everyone. While one couple might not be satisfied unless they’re having sex every day, another might be perfectly content with doing it once a week or less. Either way, as long as both people are happy, the frequency isn’t really that important. Quality over quantity, right? Besides, if sex is the only thing you care about, why bother being in a relationship at all? Here are some things that are more important than getting it on.
- Mutual respect. One of the most important things a couple can have is respect for one another’s differences, preferences, and opinions. Without it, a relationship will never last because either one or both of you can inevitably do better.
- The ability to make each other laugh. Life is a lot more fun when you can laugh at yourselves. With sex in particular, the chances of something weird happening are high, so it’ll be a lot less stressful if you don’t take it so seriously.
- Cuddling. The “cuddle hormone” oxytocin is released through touching and physical closeness, and it’s crucial for bonding. If you and your partner are comfortable always touching, hugging, and going out of your way to be near each other, that has a far greater impact than sex alone.
- Trusting each other. Without trust, there is paranoia, constant worrying, and worst of all, never feeling secure and comfortable in your relationship. You don’t want to be one of those couples who’s constantly checking up and accusing each other of things, so if you can’t trust each other, do both of you a favor and walk away.
- Good communication. After respect, communication is the most important part of a healthy relationship. Everyone has their own way of handling conflict, and the only guaranteed way to be on the same page with your significant other the majority of the time is to talk to them about what’s going on in your head.
- Forgiveness. There’s always going to be things you both do that piss each other off. People make mistakes. But as long as you can let the little things go, and be willing to leave old grudges behind, you’ll have a good chance of going the distance together. One the golden rules of a relationship— pick your battles.
- Loyalty. It’s human nature to expect the person you share your bed with to be loyal to you at all times. If you’ve discussed and agreed on a monogamous relationship, expecting him to live up to that promise is understandable. On the other hand, if you have a less conventional relationship, it’s still perfectly normal to expect him to stick to the rules you’ve discussed and agreed are for the good of your relationship.
- Support. One of the best parts about a relationship is having a built-in ally. While you can’t possible agree on everything, you should at least know that you have each others backs for the important stuff.
- A solid friendship. Looks will fade, and there will be plenty of ups and downs, but if you’re friends first with the added bonus of having great sex, there won’t much that can shake that foundation.
- Having similar goals. Even if you have amazing chemistry in bed, if you don’t both want the same things, you’ll never make it. You’ll constantly be pulling each other in opposite directions, and eventually, the sex thing won’t be enough to keep you together.
