10 Things I’m Still Mad At My Ex About

Moving on is a lot easier said than done, and when it comes to exes, you never really know what the time frame is for healing. You can force yourself to forget or convince yourself that you’re fine, but sometimes it’s just better to allow yourself to feel all of the suppressed emotions and then finally let it go. This is why I still write these articles — because I’m still mad at my ex for the unfinished business that I was left to cope with on my own. By openly admitting my anger, hopefully I can eventually let it go. Here are the 10 things that I’m still mad at my ex about:

1. The plans we made together, but never got to do. You know when you’re in the honeymoon phase and you make plans with each other that, at the moment, seem totally realistic? Well, things don’t always go according to plan. I still think about those trips that we never took and the memories that we never got to make.
2. The things I couldn’t change. Despite his flaws, I still love him. Despite all of the things I can’t change, I still love him. I accept his flaws, I accept the things I can’t change. Regardless of these things, the circumstances are what they are and it still makes me mad to this day.
3. The things he wanted to change about me. No matter how much you try, you can’t change a person. As cliche as it may sound, change really does come from within. I admit that I’ve done a lot of things to drive him away, but at the same time, I wanted him to accept me for who I am and give me the time I needed to change myself.
4. Every single stupid fight. Every couple gets into fights.  It would actually be unnatural for a couple NOT to fight. Of course, fighting all the time is exhausting and it takes up a lot of useless energy. If I could go back in time, I’d stop every fight short and tell him that it’s not worth it. That time would have been much better spent just loving each other.
5. The apologies I never received. I am a very headstrong person and I’ll hold onto my point of view until my dying day even if I know I’m wrong. But, in the times I was actually right, I wanted that apology from him. Unfortunately, when you fight fire with fire, the flame just grows. I fell for someone who loves being right just as much as I do and that’s always a bad mix.
6. The forgiveness he never gave. I’ve made mistakes in my relationship and I’m very aware of it. I take responsibility for my mistakes and I’m sorry for them. But forgiveness is a tough thing to give. Without it, you live with this guilt, and that’s where I am, wishing he would’ve just forgiven me.
7. The way it ended. No breakup is every easy to deal with. It all hurts the same way whether it was a peaceful exit or a guns blazing row. He had to leave me and I had no choice but to let him go. Like I said before, it was due to circumstance and sometimes, there’s nothing you can do about circumstance except for accept it.
8. The fact that we can’t be together. Again, there’s nothing worse than watching the love of your life leave and not being able to do anything about it. You kind of just have to live with it. I’m just hoping that it’ll get better or easier or maybe even one day, we’ll find our way to each other again.
9. The fact that I still want to be with him. Sometimes, missing someone just becomes a part of daily life and some days are worse than others, but at the end of the day, you still miss them. I still want to be with him and maybe it will eventually go away, but for now, I’m waiting on the day when I’ll stop wanting him.
10. The fact that I’m even writing this article about him, proving that he still has an impact on my life. Above all else, the thing that really kills me the most is how much he’s still affecting my life despite the thousands of miles between us. You’d think that the distance would lessen the attachment but in this case, I guess absence makes the heart grow fonder.