There’s nothing wrong with being single. In fact, there’s a lot of amazing things about being single. That being said, there are still a bunch of times where you’re acutely aware of the fact that you’re the single one in the crowd. Those times it seems like everyone is staring at you thinking, “what’s wrong with her?” For some reason, attached people always feel the need to help out their poor, single friends in various, sometimes completely unwelcome, ways. Whether you’re happy to be single or not, there are still those times you wish you could just grab the closest guy and make him your temporary boyfriend.
- Being the only single person in the wedding party. Remember that scene in He’s Just Not That Into You where Jennifer Aniston’s newly singly character has to walk the dog down the aisle? That’s the stuff of single girl nightmares.
- Surprise set ups. No one thinks to ask you if you’re actually interested in going out with the one single guy they happen to know, because they just assume you have nothing better to do. You’re single, after all.
- Being the only single person at a dinner party. Your friend promised there would be other single people there. She lied.
- Being the third wheel with a PDA-obsessed couple. Do they think you enjoy watching them stare into each other’s eyes, make out, and generally take every opportunity be all over each other? Or did they just forget you were there?
- Being the only single girl on girl’s night. While they’re all complaining about how their boyfriend did this or that, you’re scanning the room looking for a guy, any guy, to rescue you. Don’t expect any help from your friends either. They have activated the “we’re taken, don’t talk to us” force field and have no intention of leaving the bubble.
- At family functions, having everyone repeatedly ask what ever happened to your ex from high school. She just cannot get it through her head that you guys broke up the day after graduation, and you haven’t spoken to him in years. To her, he’ll always be The One.
- When there’s one single dude at the party, but he’s of the HELL NO variety. There’s no way you’ll be able to avoid him the whole night, because his friends blatantly pointed at you when you walked in, and told him, “that’s her, the single girl.”
- The “your biological clock is ticking” conversation. You’re well aware you’re approaching 30 with no prospects on the horizon. You can practically feel your ovaries shriveling up with every passing day. Why people feel the need to point out that if you want to have kids you better get on it, like yesterday, is mind boggling.
- Having to choose between spending a Saturday night alone, or out with all your coupled up friends. It’s always one of those lesser of two evils decisions, and it all really boils down to what the snack selection is going to be like.
- When the only hot guy in the bar is taken. Sure, there are single guys around, but they don’t have the dimples and biceps of that guy with the blond girl hanging all over him. When you start thinking that maybe you could take her, it might be time to throw in the towel and call it a night. You’ll have plenty of other chances to be the single one everywhere you go, but tonight your PJ’s and Netflix are a lot more appealing.
