Sometimes I think it would be really useful if there was a place for overthinkers to express their frustrations… like Overthinkers Anonymous or something. If that’s a real thing then my name is Tiffany and I’m an overthinker. Here are some signs that you might be an overthinker too:
- You analyze emoji usage. He just sent you a text with a heart and arrow emoji… does that mean he wants to break up?!
- It takes you 36 minutes to pick out pizza toppings. Pineapple and Canadian bacon… scratch that. Pineapple and pepperoni. Or maybe mushrooms…
- Even if everything is good in your relationship, you’re convinced there’s a million tiny reasons why your significant other wants to dump you. He probably hates the way you put your socks on or the way you add things on your fingers because you can’t do mental math. It’s probably over.
- You interpret the song lyrics your friends post as Instagram captions in many different ways. “Running through the six with my woes…” Woes, woes… Okay, so Cindy is sad.
- You screenshot EVERYTHING so you can scrutinize over it later. What DID she mean by “Good to see you!”? Was that meant to be read in condescending tone?
- You use an app that tracks who unfollows you so you can pore over the loss and try to figure out what post it was that did them in. WAS IT TOO MANY CAT POSTS?
- You look for meaning and subtext behind every social media post. “Going to the dentist.” Hmmm, Mary didn’t tag Jeff. I wonder if they broke up. They probably broke up.
- You can never fall asleep at night without replaying all the things you should have said and done that day. “I should have asked that girl in Whole Foods about her urban farm. Why didn’t I talk to her? HOW IS IT 4:19 AM?”
- You wonder if when your delivery driver said, “Have a good night,” he really meant “Have a GOOD night ;).” At least you know he has a job and a car. And he was cute in a kind of stoner/hobo way.
- You’ve re-written a blog post about 35 different ways before deciding not to post it at all. Maybe that metaphor about that leaf wasn’t really necessary….Should probably take that part out. And since Mindy follows your blog and she’s friends with Sam, you probably shouldn’t part about the candy bar because then she’ll know that Sam’s boyfriend Dan wasn’t with his friend Chris and then everyone will hate you. Better delete the whole post instead.
