Before having kids, I thought luxuries were things like taking an extended vacation in Maui, getting a spa treatment, or dining at a 5-star restaurant. When I was nine months pregnant and eagerly awaiting the birth of my first child, little did I know that my world was about to change in ways that I couldn’t have imagined before. My definition of luxury made a drastic shift as I saw most of my simple pleasures get funneled into the 90-minute time slot after my kids go to bed and before my eyes can no longer stay open.
If you aren’t a parent, then perhaps this list will remind you to relish in life’s simple moments. If you are a parent, then maybe you stand with me in solidarity. Following are the top 10 pure luxuries I gave up when I had my babies.
- Makeup every day. Don’t get me wrong; I love looking as beautiful as I can all the time. It’s just that the “as I can” part has changed. Most mornings I’m lucky if I can eat a little breakfast, do some exercise, check my email, and manage to put my hair in a ponytail. The priority now is getting the kids fed, pottied, dressed, and out the door. So the joy of looking as glamorous as I can is reserved now only for special occasions.
- A full night’s sleep. You knew I was going to say that, right? I heard about that a lot from parents before I had kids, too. Now I understand that they really, really meant you don’t get a full night’s sleep when the babies are still young and nursing. As a matter of fact, I’m pretty sure their wakings synchronize with mommy’s deepest sleep period. I’m still waiting for the study that proves that.
- A yoga practice at home for longer than 20 minutes. My home yoga practice was one of my most treasured treats for my well-being before I had kids. Now it involves a 3-year-old climbing on my back and a 1-year-old pulling the ponytail I put so much effort into. If I get 10 minutes to do a variety of postures, I’m good. If I get 20 minutes, then I feel like a total rockstar.
- Meditation. Nope.
- Uninterrupted time to myself that isn’t scheduled. Pre-children, having time to myself was just a matter of sitting on the couch with a book in hand and a cup of tea on the windowsill. Now if I want to so much as take a shower, I need to make sure there’s a pair of eyes and ears on the little ones, and sometimes it does requires scheduling it.
- Dates with my husband. We used to enjoy being able to go out together whenever we felt like it. Yes, I know we need to get a sitter and have a date anyway. And we have, ahem, a few times. However, it’s a far cry from fun nights out with my husband multiple nights a week.
- Dates with myself. If not dating your husband sounds sad, imagine not even being to date yourself. Sure, my husband stays with the kids while I do other things, but long gone are the days when I could check the local bookstore calendar in the morning and see a Wednesday night talk on a whim.
- My body all to myself. This is an extraordinary concept that I couldn’t possibly have conceived of as a luxury before I had kids. However, between being pregnant, nursing, soothing tearful faces, being climbed on, sat on, and laid on; most of the time it feels as if my body is cellularly fused with my kids’.
- Not worrying about someone else. The day before I went into labor with my oldest I was watching an iconic 90’s film on Netflix without a care in the world. The next day after my daughter was born it felt as if 83% of my brain was delegated to worrying, planning, or just plain thinking about my baby. Never could I have imagined that simply having that unoccupied space in my mind was a luxury.
- Sleeping in. Before having kids, I loved getting up at 6 am to get the day started. Now, after having yet another night of interrupted sleep, there would be no greater treat in the world than sleeping in until 7:15 am without being woken by the shrieks and yells of another morning with wee ones.
However, with the loss of these most cherished luxuries, I also scored big time with laughter, smiles, hugs, kisses, and snuggles. Having babies taught me how to soak in the pleasures of my simple and ordinary life as a mom. And for that, I’m eternally grateful.
