Dating isn’t always going to be a barrel of laughs, but there are certain behaviors we engage in that suck all the fun out of what could otherwise be a pretty enjoyable experience. If you want to have a good time while looking for love, hopefully you can avoid these things at all costs.
- Being canceled on last-minute You’ve gotten all dolled up and you’ve been super excited about a date. 30 minutes before you’re supposed to meet your date, you get a text that says, “Hey, I’m so sorry, I can’t make it.” This is a serious blow. Now not only have you wasted your time and energy but you also have no plans. If someone does this more than once, you should probably move on.
- Staying in the situation out of fear You could have all kinds of fear about dating. Maybe you’re actually scared to leave your partner for fear of what they’ll do. Or, you could have some natural fears like being scared you’ll never meet anyone else or being scared to be alone. As a result of these fears, you stay in a situation that actually isn’t good for you. This is not a good place to be in.
- Getting unexpected periods Sure, you can definitely have sex on your period but it’s messy. When they show up unannounced, they often get all over sheets and bodies. It can gross some people out (even though it’s really not a big deal). Some people don’t want to have sex when they or their partner is bleeding, so it can get in the way of getting it on. Lame!
- Having unreasonable expectations Perhaps you expect the person you’re dating to meet your every dream and desire. You don’t realize you have these unreasonable expectations but they’re there, making you unhappy. You’re not appreciating what’s right in front of you. Instead, you’re longing for things that likely will never even happen. This is a sneaky one.
- Setting out to change a person Wanting to change a person is definitely being with them for the wrong reasons. It’s nearly impossible to adjust how another person thinks and behaves. Any attempt to do this will just result in misery. You’ve definitely stopped having fun when you’re attempting to control someone else. Plus, do you even like them at that point? It’s better to move on to someone you’re better suited to.
- Suppressing your wants and needs It can be tempting to push down what you want if it doesn’t align with your partner’s desires. Perhaps you just want to please them and are putting your own stuff aside. It’s not healthy to shove your own feelings out of the way. Suppressing your wants and needs can make you sick and is definitely not fun.
- Working too much This may seem tangential but it’s relevant. You could have a super cool person in your life yet you’re always away from them because you’re married to your job. Working too much can be a drain because you really need to designate time to date. Dating is kind of like a part-time job that needs to be paid attention to. You can’t do this if you’re always in the office.
- Overthinking You’ve run through every scenario in your head that could possibly go wrong. You’ve driven yourself mad thinking about how things could be messed up. Overthinking is seldom a positive thing. You’re most often obsessing about negative things that you’re creating in your mind. Your head is a dangerous place when you’re overthinking, so stay out of there! It’ll ruin dating.
- Making comparisons You look longingly at a friend’s relationship and wish yours looked like that. Another scenario is that you think about a past relationship that you have and you compare it to your current one. These are both surefire ways to make yourself miserable because you’re longing for anything but what’s in front of you. Making comparisons sucks the joy right out of a relationship.
- Not listening to your intuition You have a voice deep within you that speaks to you about what to do. Your intuition knows what’s best for you and it communicates to you through your gut. You likely will feel nauseous if you’re doing something that goes against your intuition. You may think you really like someone, but deep down your gut is telling you that they’re bad news. Not listening to that voice can bring you great pain.
